Why is it Gendered?

I know you’ve probably seen and/or read articles where female sports fans go on their rants about the ‘struggles’ of being a sports fan. Yes, all of them are true; BUT let me turn the table to the men so you know what it feels like when something you’re knowledgeable on is challenged by the opposite sex/gender.

For my well-dressed men out there: I bet you think you’re very knowledgeable on designers, styles, fashion eras, etc. Let’s say you’re shopping with your girlfriend, and she is getting a little black dress with ruching. You say, “Oh, I really like the ruching on that dress.” Your girlfriend responds, “Why do you know what that is? Where does the term come from? What designer made this popular?” You feel bombarded and belittled; you have no time to respond, because she keeps cutting you off.

Not into fashion? Well then, let’s continue…

For my music men: I bet you think you’re very knowledgeable on the changing chart toppers or the new underground music that’s starting to hit the scene. Let’s say a woman you’re talking to is also a big music fanatic. She starts bombarding you with questions about the biography of the band or artist, how many albums they’ve made, where they’re originally from, etc.

EVEN BETTER: Let’s say you’re a big One Direction/Justin Bieber/Taylor Swift/”girly music” band fan. You tell a woman this and she asks, “Oh, is this just a phase?” You feel insulted, because, apparently, it’s weird for men to like what’s considered girly music.

Still doesn’t apply to you? Well, hold on buddy; let me make this clear to you:

Hobbies and interests are not gendered. It’s completely acceptable for women to love football, baseball, basketball, soccer, any sport, just how it’s completely acceptable for men to like Justin Bieber or know about the fashion industry. Men, you say you want to change the perspective of women or that you’re a feminist, yet you push the old school traditional values held by our grandparents on women.

I’m not trying to bash men; that’s the last thing I’m trying to do. I’m trying to open your eyes to your actions and how it would feel if the way you treat women was done to you. The fact that women in the 21^st century are still being ridiculed or questioned for liking sports is despicable, just how men in the 21^st century are still being ridiculed or questioned for liking things that are considered to be feminine.

Let people be who they are. The only way that these old school traditional values can be erased is through action by BOTH men and women. If men want to wear pink (only REAL men wear pink) or want to be into very poppy music, because they like to do so, let them. If women want to follow sports and know the statistics of their team because they like to do so, let them. The first step to getting rid of these gender roles is through action, so let’s get started.

Don't Stand Up...Unless It's For Your Rights

I've noticed that this blog has become an outlet for me, to release stress and be a healthy way to let myself go in a matter of typing. This month's post is going to be just a tad different than in the past. In case you readers didn't know this, I wrote a piece for Thought Catalog in the summer of 2014. It discussed an issue about being asked, "Why are you still single?"

It's a nice rant for the single ladies as Valentine's Day is coming up, or as I like to refer to it as Single Awareness Day (PDAs are just too real that day, and it needs to go away). Anyway, I just went through something that no woman should ever experience. Unfortunately, I have experienced this now for the fourth time in my life, and it has me questioning things about myself and my personality.

Back in December, I was talking to this one guy, who will stay nameless. We were talking for a few weeks. Here's the twist: we met online, and yes, it was Tinder. Go ahead and judge, but that app is a great way to get an ego boost and meet people. Anyway, we started talking, and he seemed like an alright guy. I wanted to meet the kid just to feel things out. So I asked him if he was free on a Thursday night to grab a bite and just meet up in person. He told me he was available and would meet me at this sub shop back home in Chicago. We agreed to meet up at 8.

I'm at my house getting ready and having my awesome little sister pick out jewelry for me to wear. I realized I was running a little late, so I shot him a text saying I was running behind. He responded, "That's fine. I'll meet you there." I get there around 8:15, and see that he wasn't there. I texted him; no response. I waited about a half hour; again, no response. Another hour goes by; no response. By this time, I am livid and angry that, for the fourth time in my life, I have been stood up.

I drove home after some much needed retail therapy (I also justified it as a way to use the gift cards I got for Christmas). I burst in the door with bags in hand; my mom looks at me and just felt awful for me that she's seen this happen to me four times now.

Men, WHY? Why do you stand up chicks? Do you know how much effort goes into getting ready? That involves putting on a full face of makeup, doing our hair, finding an outfit that isn't a pair of sweats and a hoodie...you just made me waste about two hours of my time.

I wasn't expecting this guy to become a relationship, and that maltreatment of my time and my emotions guaranteed that. What was even worse is that he texted me the next day, completely ignoring what happened. I ignored him for days and weeks until he got the hint. I then found him subtweeting about me and how girls play mind games. Excuse me, but you toyed with my emotions and wasted my time to satisfy whatever you needed to satisfy. And women are the ones who play mind games.

Men, women are not difficult to figure out. We are quite simple. Just don't get us angry, and you will be on easy street. If you've met a girl who is way more complex than that, then I feel so bad for you. For example, as long as you respect my schedule and that I don't feel the need to speak to you every single second of the day, you will do just fine.

If you can't make the date or you feel like you're too nervous (which you know you feel), then just let us know. Just text us. We will be upset that you did make us waste a couple hours, but I know that we would still continuing talking to you because you were honest with us. That's all it takes. Learn your lesson men. You're welcome.

A Sharp Turn Down the Road of Life

Well, as many of you may know, I am out in Omaha, interning at WOWT in the sports department. I'm having the best summer, getting hands-on experience in a newsroom, and living the dream covering some Triple A baseball and the College World Series. Guess what; I'm not there.

After just two days in the newsroom, I started feeling very sick. I could barely keep my eyes open, because the light hurt my eyes. I was fatigued all the time, trying to fit multiple naps in somewhere throughout my day. I couldn't talk, because my throat felt swollen. My head was pounding non-stop; I didn't know what was wrong with me. I thought it was a 24-hour bug so I went in to the station the next day.

I was still not feeling well, but I was better than I was the day before. I went in to the newsroom, and I was trying to find some energy. I was getting weaker and weaker. I was using so much energy to just try and keep my eyes open. I went to a doctor, and they told me it was a sinus infection. They gave me some antibiotics, and I went on my way home.

A couple days later, I was still wasn't feeling well. I ended up getting sick while I was on the job. I went to another doctor, and they gave me different antibiotics. It did nothing; I was getting really upset, because I was missing all these days at the station without getting any better. Finally, my uncle noticed that I was red in the face and not my normal sunburn red. I looked in the mirror, and it looked like I had chicken pox all over my face. I went to a doctor for the third time. They said it was either strep or mono (mind you, I haven't had strep since I had my tonsils and anoids removed when I was 5). Doc came back after running a blood test and told me I had tested positive for mono.

Those were the hardest six words I have ever heard. Those words meant my internship was done, my part time job I had was done, and I would have to come back home to Chicago. I was balling my eyes out, knowing that the summer I was so excited for just disappeared. I went back to my uncle's house and just could not stop crying. I called my boss at the station, and he was really understanding of the whole situation. I was only in the newsroom for four days, and he still offered me the internship for next summer. That was the absolute last thing I expected; I was waiting for a "Well, it was great working with you for a short time. Feel better and enjoy your upcoming school year." Four days and I still received an internship for next summer? I was astounded.

I called my parents, and my mom flew out to come and get me on Father's Day. I just sunk into depression on the entire eight hour drive back to Chicago. Granted, I was given a second chance for next summer, but I wanted it this summer (you will come to find that I can be very impatient). I was so upset at myself for not taking care of my body throughout the entire school year. Instead, I ignored any health problem I had so I could be with friends, study, or be at WOUB on campus.

A month and 20 pounds later, I am almost over this disease. I had red dots all over my body, I lost so much weight, my hearing was damaged, and I slept for practically a month. Blood test after blood test, aspirins, constant visits to doctors; I swear Northwestern Hospital should know me by name by now. All this free time that I've had this month has helped me instead of harmed me, like I originally thought.

I have been spending this time getting healthy as a way to continue my work. I have been writing constantly, whether it's on this blog or it's a sports piece for SportsRants Women. I have been working on my memoirs non stop. While my family went on their vacation, I spent time with my grandfather (by that, I mean he spoiled me). I've found this new strength, both physical and mental, that I've never experienced. This time has taught me to think of each sharp turn down this road of life as the long way to acheiving my goals and aspirations. Eventually, I'll get there with hard work, connections, and a bit of luck. Am I happy I got mono? No, but I am happy with what this disease did to me: open my eyes a bit more and just go along for the drive on this road of life.

Tragedies Keep Rolling

I thought I have experienced a taste of everything, and when I say everything, I mean everything. Apparently, life decided to throw a few curveballs my way and blow my mind. Let me give you a bit of a back story just so you know what I mean how I have experienced many things in my short span of life.

First off, over a span of four years, I have lost 13 people that I hold near and dear to my heart. At my young age, I have already lost multiple family members, classmates, and best friends. They have all passed in different ways, ranging from cancer to drug overdose to drowning. This has taken a toll on me emotionally and mentally. I can barely recall the last time I cried, and I have learned to suppress emotion to the point where I can get sick.

Secondly, at the age of 16, my family was on the verge of losing my home. Imagine back to when you were a teenager. You probably did not worry much about family finances, taking care of much younger siblings on a daily basis, or finding ways to help the family save every single penny. Your mind was probably on what you want to do for prom, when you can see your friends this weekend, and what college you will be attending shortly. I was worrying about all the things listed, as well as how I could afford college, athletics, and extracurriculars.

Finally, I did not have one person that I could call a friend until I was 16. Imagine not having a single person that would be with you consistently, through all the ups and downs, good and bad times, and everything in between for 16 years of your life. I was horribly treated by people who I thought were my friends, and the ones that I was close to ended up passing away before I went to high school.

Just recently, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer for the third time in her life. I know that I am on the verge of losing another person that I hold close to my heart and love deeply. I now have to suppress more emotion to not show weakness.

There is a lot more to my story, but I am not here to list my past problems. I am here to help inspire you, the reader. I have experienced many tragedies in my incredibly short lifetime. What is the point of me "whining" to you? To let you know that a tragedy does make you stronger. All these tragedies have taught me three things that I want to pass on to you:

1) Life is way too short for regrets. I lost someone who was only 17 when he passed. He lived life to the fullest, and I am doing the same thing. I do everything with a purpose and a reason, and I will make sure that it gets done.

2) People will come and go from your life, and you must learn how to cope with it. Most of the people that passed away all died the end of my freshman year and beginning of my sophomore year of high school. I had to learn how to still put a smile on my face while internally I was crying and screaming. I learned how to move on when something horrible happens in my life.

3) Love yourself, and surround yourself with people who love you for you. I will be honest: I absolutely hated myself when I was younger. I did not like the person I saw in the mirror every morning. I created a fake personality, fake past, and fake persona to make myself socially acceptable. When I was in my junior year, I met someone that I praise and thank God everyday for being in my life: my best friend. She saved me from myself and introduced me to myself. I met people who loved me for me, not the fasad I had on for almost all of high school. Since then, I now have a better self-image and love me for me.

I know all three of these things sound incredibly generic; they are all true. All three of these things are ideals that have made me love myself again. Now I can wake up every morning with a purpose in life, look in the mirror, and not hate the reflection. It is an incredible feeling that I hope I can pass on to others across the globe. Let all the tragedies that roll into your life make you ten times stronger.