A Sharp Turn Down the Road of Life

Well, as many of you may know, I am out in Omaha, interning at WOWT in the sports department. I'm having the best summer, getting hands-on experience in a newsroom, and living the dream covering some Triple A baseball and the College World Series. Guess what; I'm not there.

After just two days in the newsroom, I started feeling very sick. I could barely keep my eyes open, because the light hurt my eyes. I was fatigued all the time, trying to fit multiple naps in somewhere throughout my day. I couldn't talk, because my throat felt swollen. My head was pounding non-stop; I didn't know what was wrong with me. I thought it was a 24-hour bug so I went in to the station the next day.

I was still not feeling well, but I was better than I was the day before. I went in to the newsroom, and I was trying to find some energy. I was getting weaker and weaker. I was using so much energy to just try and keep my eyes open. I went to a doctor, and they told me it was a sinus infection. They gave me some antibiotics, and I went on my way home.

A couple days later, I was still wasn't feeling well. I ended up getting sick while I was on the job. I went to another doctor, and they gave me different antibiotics. It did nothing; I was getting really upset, because I was missing all these days at the station without getting any better. Finally, my uncle noticed that I was red in the face and not my normal sunburn red. I looked in the mirror, and it looked like I had chicken pox all over my face. I went to a doctor for the third time. They said it was either strep or mono (mind you, I haven't had strep since I had my tonsils and anoids removed when I was 5). Doc came back after running a blood test and told me I had tested positive for mono.

Those were the hardest six words I have ever heard. Those words meant my internship was done, my part time job I had was done, and I would have to come back home to Chicago. I was balling my eyes out, knowing that the summer I was so excited for just disappeared. I went back to my uncle's house and just could not stop crying. I called my boss at the station, and he was really understanding of the whole situation. I was only in the newsroom for four days, and he still offered me the internship for next summer. That was the absolute last thing I expected; I was waiting for a "Well, it was great working with you for a short time. Feel better and enjoy your upcoming school year." Four days and I still received an internship for next summer? I was astounded.

I called my parents, and my mom flew out to come and get me on Father's Day. I just sunk into depression on the entire eight hour drive back to Chicago. Granted, I was given a second chance for next summer, but I wanted it this summer (you will come to find that I can be very impatient). I was so upset at myself for not taking care of my body throughout the entire school year. Instead, I ignored any health problem I had so I could be with friends, study, or be at WOUB on campus.

A month and 20 pounds later, I am almost over this disease. I had red dots all over my body, I lost so much weight, my hearing was damaged, and I slept for practically a month. Blood test after blood test, aspirins, constant visits to doctors; I swear Northwestern Hospital should know me by name by now. All this free time that I've had this month has helped me instead of harmed me, like I originally thought.

I have been spending this time getting healthy as a way to continue my work. I have been writing constantly, whether it's on this blog or it's a sports piece for SportsRants Women. I have been working on my memoirs non stop. While my family went on their vacation, I spent time with my grandfather (by that, I mean he spoiled me). I've found this new strength, both physical and mental, that I've never experienced. This time has taught me to think of each sharp turn down this road of life as the long way to acheiving my goals and aspirations. Eventually, I'll get there with hard work, connections, and a bit of luck. Am I happy I got mono? No, but I am happy with what this disease did to me: open my eyes a bit more and just go along for the drive on this road of life.

Being a Big Girl: Another Step in Adulthood

What a month. I'm now a junior in college; it feels like it was just yesterday that I graduated high school. Time really flies when you do what you love. I finished the torturous finals week and was ready to start my summer. I was only home for three weeks, and boy, did they put me to the test.

I knew coming back home was going to be difficult. My grandmother's health was declining, friends were in town for only a short while, and I was only going to be home for three weeks. I had a lot to do in a short amount of time. My first week was spent with family seeing as my friends were just then entering their finals week. I visited my grandmother on almost a daily basis, checking in and making sure everything was ok.

Days pass by, and her health deteriorated rapidly. She was having a hard time just doing basic things, like breathing. She was able to make it through Mother's Day, but shortly there after, she took her last breath. My grandmother passed away on May 18, one week before I was supposed to leave for the summer.

I apologize for starting on a sad note, but when you lose someone that close to you, it needs to be stated first and foremost. I was able to catch up with my friends, patch up differences with old friends, and make new ones as well. I was able to see a few friends of mine that I haven't seen since I was 10 years old. I met new people at my grandmother's memorial service and at random restaurants all over the city.

However, this past week alone has taught me that I'm not just Mom and Dad's daughter; I need to grow and be on my own. Yes, that's what college is for, exploring new found independence, but eventually, you come home. Sometimes, you see your parents in their weakest states and have to be their shoulder to cry and depend on. Other times, you realize that your siblings will age and become more and more mature; they don't need you to mother them anymore.

I've had both revelations this past week. Being the oldest, I am already someone that the family depends on with petty housework and babysitting. But when I became an emotional pillar for my mother, that's when reality really kicked in. I have to grow up and stop acting like a child. I have to be there for my family (as everyone should always be there for their families), but I also need to grow and flourish as an individual and as a journalist.

This past week, I had the amazing opportunity to get a tour of Halas Hall and meet with the communications department of the Chicago Bears. I was able to pick their brains for knowledge and frankly anything that could give me an edge in the extremely competitive journalism field. I wanted to make my name resonate in their minds and make them remember me as maybe a future potential employee, not just a star struck Bears fan.

Now, as you're reading this, I'm on my way to Omaha, Nebraska, to start my first professional internship. I've had this position since March, and now the anticipation is over. I'm taking my first baby step into adulthood by making my first solo road trip to another state. I'm going to get a taste of what living off of the Mom and Dad fund (well, not entirely off) is going to feel like. Only two years separate me from the real world. It's time to grow up and become a big girl.

Tragedies Keep Rolling

I thought I have experienced a taste of everything, and when I say everything, I mean everything. Apparently, life decided to throw a few curveballs my way and blow my mind. Let me give you a bit of a back story just so you know what I mean how I have experienced many things in my short span of life.

First off, over a span of four years, I have lost 13 people that I hold near and dear to my heart. At my young age, I have already lost multiple family members, classmates, and best friends. They have all passed in different ways, ranging from cancer to drug overdose to drowning. This has taken a toll on me emotionally and mentally. I can barely recall the last time I cried, and I have learned to suppress emotion to the point where I can get sick.

Secondly, at the age of 16, my family was on the verge of losing my home. Imagine back to when you were a teenager. You probably did not worry much about family finances, taking care of much younger siblings on a daily basis, or finding ways to help the family save every single penny. Your mind was probably on what you want to do for prom, when you can see your friends this weekend, and what college you will be attending shortly. I was worrying about all the things listed, as well as how I could afford college, athletics, and extracurriculars.

Finally, I did not have one person that I could call a friend until I was 16. Imagine not having a single person that would be with you consistently, through all the ups and downs, good and bad times, and everything in between for 16 years of your life. I was horribly treated by people who I thought were my friends, and the ones that I was close to ended up passing away before I went to high school.

Just recently, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer for the third time in her life. I know that I am on the verge of losing another person that I hold close to my heart and love deeply. I now have to suppress more emotion to not show weakness.

There is a lot more to my story, but I am not here to list my past problems. I am here to help inspire you, the reader. I have experienced many tragedies in my incredibly short lifetime. What is the point of me "whining" to you? To let you know that a tragedy does make you stronger. All these tragedies have taught me three things that I want to pass on to you:

1) Life is way too short for regrets. I lost someone who was only 17 when he passed. He lived life to the fullest, and I am doing the same thing. I do everything with a purpose and a reason, and I will make sure that it gets done.

2) People will come and go from your life, and you must learn how to cope with it. Most of the people that passed away all died the end of my freshman year and beginning of my sophomore year of high school. I had to learn how to still put a smile on my face while internally I was crying and screaming. I learned how to move on when something horrible happens in my life.

3) Love yourself, and surround yourself with people who love you for you. I will be honest: I absolutely hated myself when I was younger. I did not like the person I saw in the mirror every morning. I created a fake personality, fake past, and fake persona to make myself socially acceptable. When I was in my junior year, I met someone that I praise and thank God everyday for being in my life: my best friend. She saved me from myself and introduced me to myself. I met people who loved me for me, not the fasad I had on for almost all of high school. Since then, I now have a better self-image and love me for me.

I know all three of these things sound incredibly generic; they are all true. All three of these things are ideals that have made me love myself again. Now I can wake up every morning with a purpose in life, look in the mirror, and not hate the reflection. It is an incredible feeling that I hope I can pass on to others across the globe. Let all the tragedies that roll into your life make you ten times stronger.