Why Sports Matter: A Kobe Bryant Tribute

I sit here writing this at 1:45 in the morning when I should be packing up my apartment for my next big move. It's been more than 24 hours since Kobe's tragic passing. It still feels unreal to me that a legend, icon and genuine human being who had such a high standing morally and ethically is gone. I'm still crying over this tragedy.

I unfortunately was never able to witness Kobe in person. I watched games constantly though as a kid. I'll never forget watching his final game when I was a senior in college, at Pawpurrs in Athens, Ohio. I cried when I realized that we would never see Kobe in a Lakers uniform again.

But it's what he did in his short retirement that does more. That impacts more. That is what he should be remembered for more than his stat line.

I got on YouTube and started watching Kobe on talk shows after his retirement; Kimmel, Fallon, Ellen etc. You could tell how passionate he was about his family, his daughters and his next step. Many of these talk shows would ask him basketball related questions, because how can you not? It's Kobe. However, it's his answers about the small details of the sport of basketball that really have me reflecting on the game.

I started dribbling a basketball when I was just 4 years old. It was a pretty instant attraction for me. I would spend time in my alley, shooting hoops with the guys on my block. I asked my dad to get us a hoop so I could shoot at the house. I asked my parents to help me better my game with camps and travel teams. I spent countless hours on the court, trying to find the jump shot I could never perfect.

I stopped playing when I was in high school for a combination of reasons. I had a back injury, some concussions and I had a coach who made me stop loving the game. So I found my love for writing and storytelling and wanting to highlight athletes and sports. It was through my newfound love of sports journalism that I found my love for the game again, but it wasn't for my initial reasons of love for basketball.

It was for something new. Something transcendent.

Basketball is one of the few sports that is a team sport and an individual sport at the same time. In football, you need all 11 guys to be at the right spot to get things right. However, in basketball, you need a full team to show teamwork and selflessness to get the ball to the right spot, the right guy, the right shooter.

And that right guy needs to be in the right physical, but more importantly, mental state to be great. That's what Kobe embodied. His accolades alone are immense. However, there are many people that have achieved something more or damn near close to it. It's his mental state that he had on the court that made him special. He had the right mind set. The Mamba Mentality.

That's something that you can only experience in basketball. Basketball is a sport that tests your mental strength more than anything else. You can miss one shot and be cold all night because of your mind being hung up on missing one shot. Or you can make one shot and go off for 40+ points because you got the confidence on that first field goal.

That's if you let that happen.

Then there's the defensive competitiveness that tests you mentally. That's what made me fall back in love with the game. I was never the biggest scorer. That was not my strength. However, my defense was what I would pride my game on. I was ferocious, tenacious, sometimes dirty, to stop someone from beating me. Those times I would get beat would force me even more to stop them the next time around.

I'm now on the sidelines as a professional, shooting or reporting on games and I would get all types of hype for a steal instead of a bucket. I remember what that feeling was like when I played. It's a subtle flex that can give you confidence. Or when I would see a block. There is no better feeling than seeing someone come at you with full confidence, wanting to get that two or three points, and you come out with the absolute stop, bringing that person to the floor and getting possession back.

It's a constant mental battle that only you can win. You can be hot all night and then get absolutely bodied. And you still have to find the inner strength to get down the court, forget what just happened and hit the shot. That's confidence that no person can teach you. No coach can help you with. No teammate can challenge you with. It's your own battle that you need to control, which takes an incredible amount of mental strength.

That growing confidence is not cockiness. It's not arrogance. It's the constant pursuit of wanting to get better, something that Kobe taught every time he stepped on the hardwood. Something that you can only find in the sport of basketball. I played other sports growing up, but nothing hit home for me like the court did.

Basketball saved my life. That sport, that discipline, that constant desire to grow, to better myself, to be a better teammate, everything that that sport encompasses. It saved my life. It was one of the few things that gave me confidence, because I saw the kind of confidence Kobe had on the hardwood. I wanted to emmulate that on and off the court. I try my best to do that now with my own personal life.

That is why sports matter. That is why I get beyond angry when I hear the statement, "Sports don't matter. They're just entertainment. Athletes are too glorified now. Just dribble. Just catch. Just throw. Just hit the ball."

No.

The reason Kobe's loss is larger than many is because of the way he used a sport to teach a lesson. The way he used a jump shot to explain confidence. The way he used being blocked to explain getting up after a failure. The way he used an assist to show how to lift other people up. It was something so simple that taught absolute life lessons that if a parent, teacher, adult, family member, anyone further along in their age said, you would brush it off.

Thank you Kobe.

Thank you for showing that sports do matter. Thank you for showing what the sport of basketball can do for someone. Thank you for being a voice for the downtrodden. Thank you for being a pillar of hope for the city of LA. Thank you for your writings and Academy Award winning short film that just hits differently now. Thank you for impacting my generation to where we would yell "Kobe" after any shot. Thank you for being an inspiration to a little six year old Chicago girl who tried to hit a fader on the right wing. Thank you for the Mamba Mentality.

But most importantly, thank you for being an absolute hero for all people, across the world. Your legacy and legend will never be forgotten.

Because you never forget the teacher of life lessons.

RIP #24.

Mental Music Therapy & Health

Just a few months ago, I wrote that I was back after a year of silence. That comeback starts in 2019. This blog used to be a place for a rant of random opinions on some far-fetched ideas. Will it continue to be like this? I don't know. This blog will continue to be a stream of consciousness and basically a digital free-writing session each month.



The end of the year is meant for reflection, time to spend with family and friends and for the stereotypical new year resolutions.

Most people have the generic ones: get healthy, be more active, etc. Most are dealing with body image and a person's health, which I'm not knocking at all. This past year has also been a focus on mental health across the nation, many of these people being of the "millennial" age range
(which can we stop using this as a negative connotation? that's a new discussion meant for another post).

2019 will be a focus on mental health for me as well. However, it's not going to be through therapy, meditation, church or any third party. It's through writing (go figure, a journalist using writing) and music.

For those who are unaware, I used to DJ in college. I have a musical background, not with talent but with just my family. I'm very aware I can't sing; that still won't stop me from belting Ella Mai or Chris Brown in the car or the shower. I'm a music junkie, trying to find new artists and vibes on a regular basis. I even had a music blog for a while that I killed to focus on other areas of interest for me.

Lyrics and rhythm are a form of poetry that I truly love. In my mind, you can reach more people mentally and spiritually through music than any other platform. I have the stance on sports that I do on music:

Sports is the only thing that can unify the entire world for a short amount of time and forget about all the conflict and hardship. It's the only thing that can bring people from all races, genders, incomes, religions, ethnicities, ages, and neighborhoods to cheer someone on. What else can do that?

Well...music can. People of all backgrounds will shell out money to see a game and to see an artist perform. So, for me, how will I use music to better my mental health? No, it's not by listening to chanting monks or "yoga music" (yes, that's apparently a thing). 

I'm going to deconstruct music, studying the lyrics and why an artist decided to use a certain beat rhythm or instrumental. Obviously, this can't apply to all types of music, e.g. dubstep. For me, I'm a huge hip-hop/rap/r&b/blues/soul fan. With the trends happening in those genres, I've been vibing more so with that style lately.

I recommend this for people. To understand why you like a song outside of it just being catchy, you have to listen to what's being said. Those words can help you understand why you vibe with it. It could be related to something happening in your real life or a dream of yours. It's helped me thoroughly through the first few weeks of 2019. 

By listening to the words (and beats, because I'm that weird), I've realized that there are better ways for me to handle a certain situation or problem. It's been beyond therapeutic for me. I recommend it.

I'm still old school and haven't hopped on the Spotify train. I still own an iPod (go ahead and judge. I don't care). However, I continue to tweet constant music recommendations. If you'd like to know what's playing in my headphones, head here.

I'm Back

A full year went by without updating this blog. To be completely honest, I didn't mean for that to happen.

This past year from September of 2017 to now has been the biggest roller coaster I've faced thus far. I had a massive change of bosses at a job, got a new job, moved, made and lost friends, started and ended a relationship; it's just been a whirlwind.

I'm not going to dive into details for the privacy of some people. However, that year, I felt that I was at my lowest point in my career and in my own head. I wasn't seeing progress at my job. I felt trapped, so much so that it started to drastically affect my health. I was so stressed that I dropped a disgusting amount of weight, my hair started to thin out; I just looked sickly.

I wasn't able to be myself. I felt that I lost my own personality and my own sense of self. I was putting on such a front to just get through the work day and to get through the complete depression I was in for a full year. Karli was gone. There was some other spirit or soul taking over, and it just wasn't me.

In March of 2018, I thought that my career was over. I had a contract coming up, and I wasn't getting a single hit on jobs. I always told myself I will never be unemployed again after the month and a half after college of unemployment. I did not want to move back in with my parents. I was questioning whether or not I was cut out for this industry. I was in a full panic mode.

April was a new beginning. I started to get hits on jobs, and I landed one; right back home in Illinois. In June of 2018, I left the town of Hazard, Kentucky and moved back to the Midwest to Springfield, Illinois. In the three months I've been back in my second home of Central Illinois, I have never been happier.

I finally found myself again. I wasn't this angry, wretched, negative person anymore. I put weight back on, I was glowing, I was smiling constantly. Even my mom noticed how genuinely happy I was being out of the South. I was surrounded by my friends and family who I was seperated from by over 500 miles for two years.

I look back on this past year, and I said some nasty things to people who didn't deserve it. I apologize to those people. There are some things I regret doing in this past year, especially to some people. I am truly sorry if I did hurt you. I'm not making excuses, but that person a year ago was not Karli Bell.

This person now in October of 2018 is Karli. Do I regret moving to Kentucky? Absolutely not. I learned a lot about myself, about what I want in a job, what I want in a friend, what I want in a relationship and what I want to see happen in my future. I couldn't have learned that if I didn't go through those struggles.

Now, I'm in full control of my destiny and my future. I have my goals set (knowing me, it's obviously on a ridiculously detailed timeline). I have a list of what I want to acheive in this first year here in Springfield.

Karli Bell is back.

Let's Keep Breaking Glass Ceilings Ladies

This NFL season has brought a lot of things to light. I am not going to focus on the hatred that NFL players are getting for using their right to protest and express their opinions. Instead, I'm going to focus on the major glass ceiling that women in sports journalism broke this season thanks to Beth Mowins.

For the first time in 30 years, there is a woman play-by-play commentator for the NFL. To say I am one proud woman right now would be an understatement. To see women in such a male-dominated field that I thoroughly love to continue to break stereotypes is truly amazing. Beth Mowins is showing to little girls of this upcoming generation that truly anyone can call football games.

Unfortunately, there are people in this world that feel that women can't be just as knowledgeable or even more knowledgeable about sports, specifically football, than a man. "A woman can't call football. She's never played the sport."

Then say that to the many men in the field that haven't played a sport past the age of 14. There are PLENTY of men in this field, some of my colleagues and friends, who haven't played a sport since they were in middle school. However, because they're men, they won't get statements like Beth is getting or any female sports reporter for that fact.

But let's get away from the negatives. This is a massive ceiling that women in this field have broken through, finally. There's still a long way to go, but everything starts with baby steps. Look at CBS Sports having the first all-female run sports show, including producer and director. Doris Burke has become a massive name that people associate with the NBA. We're making strides.

Some day, I would love to see a female NFL play-by-play and color commentator. I would love to see the same in the NBA. The MLB made strides with Jessica Mendoza. I would love to see a bigger presence of women in the NHL. There's still so much more that we as women and as sports reporters that we can accomplish. For now, we must give Beth Mowins the much deserved thank you for making a massive step towards the future.

Let's keep breaking ceilings ladies, in all fields.

KarliBell33 & Peanut Tillman

On all of my platforms, my handle for everything for my personal brand is KarliBell33. Many people have asked me what the 33 stands for, and there's two reasons as to why I have 33 on the end of my handle: 1) @KarliBell is not available because someone who's never tweeted has that handle (rude) and (2) that number has been a part of my life since I was a kid.

I could just give you the short and sweet answer, but I'm going to explain it in depth. For those who know me know that I played sports at the competitive/organized level ever since I could walk until about my junior year of high school. Basketball was my main love, travelling all over of the region playing that sport.

The first team I was on that was considered competitve was my grade school team in 4th/5th grade. We were allowed to choose our own number. Because I had the ego I did, I chose No. 1. That ego is still here, but it's in check now. In 5th grade, someone ended up taking that number, because we were getting brand new jerseys. At this time, a certain cornerback by the name of Charles "Peanut" Tillman joined the Chicago Bears. He was my absolute favorite player next to Brian Urlacher on the Bears during this time, and he wore No. 33.

At the time, I chose the number solely based on the athletic ability of Peanut and didn't know much about him. As I grew older and became a bigger and bigger fan of the Bears and of football in general, I started reading about what he's done in the community and for his family.

I remember when news was circulating about how his daughter had to go through some pretty rough times with her health. When he was interviewed about this, I remember seeing someone that wasn't just an athlete; he was a very humble, kind, caring human being that was blesssed with athletic talent. He goes through the same struggles as everyone else, but what struck me the most was his humbleness.

Peanut has always been a great football player. His stats can prove that. However, the impact he's made on the communities he's lived in, especially Chicago, are innumberable. The impact that he's made on me personally as an adult is incredible.

Through his actions, he shows how to lead people and how to gain respect. He showed that egos shouldn't get inflated. Take everything you get as a blessing, because it can be taken from you as fast as it was given to you. He is truly an inspiring individual and just a phenomenal image of great character. Even after his career, he gives back to the community and is still horribly influential to people at all ages.

Now, with him being in the broadcast circle, I look up to him even more. He teaches me new things about the game every Sunday. He's so personable through the camera, and I try to copy my own camera presence off of his. He shows pure confidence and swagger on air, and it's a beautiful combination I wish I had.

I did meet him once when I was about 11 years old at the Chicago Bears convention. I have his autograph on my very first Bears hat that sits in the Bears Alley in the basement of my parents' house. I just remember him sitting there, signing autographs for what seemed like for him hours, but he still had a smile on his face and greeted every fan with enthusiasm and happiness. I would love to meet him again as an adult and, God willing, as a professional.

I know No. 34 is for Sweetness, but No. 33 is for Peanut. It always will be. Thank you Tillman for being such an influence in my life in ways I never expected. Thank you for continuing to spread your message to others through your charity and everything you do for the community. You may not punch out pigskins anymore, but you are punching a phenomenal message and mindset to not only myself but to everyone you meet.

The Jordan Year

Guys...I'm 23 now. This is actually insane. I would be lying if I said I think I'd make it this far. Absolutely not. Life is ever-changing. You never know what'll happen one day. People always like to focus on the negative now (Thanks, Trump). Instead, take a moment to reflect on how great of a year it's been for you, personally. That's what I plan on doing in this month's blog.

This past year has been a whirlwind for me. I graduated from college, got a job in my field, moved away from home, made some new friends, lost some old ones and made phenomenal memories. I still cannot comprehend that I'm a college graduate. If you would have asked me sophomore year of college if I would graduate, I would have said no. I was a screw-up, making horrible decisions and it all came back to bite me in the butt later in life. I learned from that.

I have job. I'm employed AND in the field I studied. That's still a dream for me. I'm making moves in the field of sports journalism and plan to keep doing so. Waking up everyday and being able to talk about sports for a living is still amazing. It's not a job. I'm just living and it's awesome.

I moved away from home. If you asked me in senior year if I would move down to Kentucky, I would have looked at you like you're nuts. Yet, here I am. To say this culture shock was necessary for me mentally is an understatement. It's always great to learn about different cultures and realize that not everyone is as blessed as you were is humbling. I'm not saying you need to move to a town of 6,000 people to do so, but for me, fate put me here. I just got to ride it.

I've made lifelong friends this past year. I met the squad in Nate, Tyler, Lou, AJ, Mulvin, Tim, Dave, Elisa and Kaila. I met Caleb, Josh, Marcus, Jarrett and other coworkers that have turned into friends. Friendships between Krista, Angela and I grew stronger. John Noble, Jordan and I still talk on a regular basis. I met Ray, Will, Kelz, Chris, Darrell, Bo, Brandon and others out in the field that I see regularly. I've travelled all over Kentucky, Virginia, West Virginia, Tennessee, Ohio and Indiana this past year. I got to come back home for 12 days and loved every second of it. I caught up with old friends in Katie, Ashley, Jake, Mike and Isabel. I've networked with plenty of other sports guys in Lexington and Louisville.

I got to experience new things, like covering UK basketball, football and softball. I covered state tournaments for basketball and football. I finally got to see The Grateful Dead and Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers. I've met new people at bars back home and in Ohio.

All in all, it's been a phenomenal year for me. Like Jordan, I'm going to keep grinding to see where I'll be next year at this time. I may still be in Kentucky. I may in Missouri, Wisconsin, Ohio, New York, Canada, England. Wherever fate takes me next. It's time to get back and focus on the next day.

It's 2017. Wake Up.

It's honestly quite frustrating to log into social media nowadays. Not only is it filled with people giving their unsolicited political opinions on what they think Trump is doing wrong or right, but it's filled with a 1920s mindset. I'm sick of it. I witness it daily not only online but in daily life. I'm done.

IT. IS. 2017. WAKE. UP.

It has been almost 100 years since women were allowed to vote. It's been 53 years since the Civil Rights Act was passed. HOWEVER, I still witness sexism and racism every single day. The only thing that is different is our reproductive organs and our skin color. But every day, I see a minority discriminated.

An idea can come from a woman, but unless it comes out of a man's mouth, it is not heard. A black man can have the same idea, but unless it comes out of a white man's mouth, it is not heard. I'm done with this. I'm sick of it. It is 2017.

Why do we feel the need to treat others differently based on their reproductive organs or skin color? We all bleed. We all breathe. We all live. We all die. We are just humans. Culturals differences aside, we are just humans. We are just creatures that are all trying to get through the day like everyone else. Treat each other as such.

I'm not saying we should be color blind or not see gender. Not at all. We all need to recognize that we come from different backgrounds and different upbringings. Instead of discriminating against it, embrace that difference. Learn more about the culture. Learn more about the gender barrier. Learn more about what makes us different.

I understand many Americans (and people across the globe) now believe that this country is more segregated because of Trump. Fine. Whatever. Political stance aside, prejudice did not just start this election season. The racism, sexism and prejudice has been around for centuries. Trump did not start it nor will he end it. You know who will?

We will.

I'm so sick and tired of seeing it. Why is it weird that I'm a white woman with friends of different races and sexualities? They're just humans that I get along with and have common interests. Why are people afraid of meeting people from different backgrounds and cultures? Those differences is what make us all unique individuals and humans.

I'm done with it. Get over your ego. Get over yourself. You are not that special. You are just a human that's trying to live everyday. That's what everyone else is.

Realize that you're just a human with the same heart, lungs and bones as everyone else in this world. Get rid of your ego, drop your mentalities and just realize that we're all trying to live.

It's 2017. Let's act like it.

Happy Four Years!

Four years ago, I started this blog to just give me an independent outlet to write whatever came to my mind. I laugh at how I thought I would write something each week. I still laugh at that to this day.

When I first started writing, I really didn't know what I wanted this to become. At first, I was writing about viral things as a way to get clicks. My mind was focused on getting clicks and getting views. I considered starting a podcast to go along with this as well as a YouTube channel as a way to just go "viral." I had no real idea of what this blog would be.

Once I decided to make it a monthly blog, it gave me time to evaluate what Karli With A K would be. I kept looking at this as a way to become "famous" on the internet. Don't ask why I had that mindset. I'm really embarrassed I used to think like that.

Now, I've turned this blog into a way to shed light on issues that I care about or to show how stupid people can be (the latter is my favorite). People have always referred to me as a female Stephen A. Smith. That's right Dani Dean; I will never forget that on-air reference during Hardwood Heroes. You want to know what's great? I revel in that.

I'm here to 1) vent about random ish that happens in my life, (2) talk about controversial subjects to get you, the reader, talking, and (3) just be me. Who does that the best? Stephen A.

I kept trying to make this blog into something that would go viral instead of making it represent the writer. I'm a loud, outgoing, sports-loving Chicagoan who's a feminist. That's what this blog has become and I love it.

So thank you for wanting to read my rants and opinions each and every month for the past four years. I plan to keep this going as I continue my profession. I plan on keeping my Bears podcast, Under The Helmet, going as long as I can. I plan to keep on writing my book (that's right people. Been keeping that one from you for a while). I plan to keep growing in my profession and want to keep you informed on my journey.

Happy four years!

20 Lessons I've Learned After College

It's been a full year since I left the paradise of Athens, Ohio as a college student. During my almost full year as a semi-functioning adult, I've learned some great lessons that I feel I should pass on to you readers. Enjoy.

1. Student loans are awful...like really awful.

2. Don't stress about not having a job when you walk across the stage. It'll come your way.

3. Nothing will ever be cheaper than college bar drinks. NOTHING.


4. Free food still exists in the real world. Thank God.

5. Friendships will fade but family will always be there with full support, even if they think you're doing something stupid.

6. Take risks. If that means moving to a place you never expected (aka my life), it will be worth it in the long run.

7. Don't stop networking. Keep it going in the real world. You never know what opportunities will come your way.

8. I'm almost 23 and I still have to call my mom to deal with adult problems, which is totally normal. Moms are superheroes. Mama Bell is a blessing.

9. Coffee and melatonin are still necessities in the real world and not just for finals week.

10. Don't just lose contact with friends, because you don't see them every day on campus. Keep in touch with them. Those conversations over FaceTime or through Snapchat are sometimes needed on a Wednesday at 1 a.m. when you're bugging out.

11. SAVE. MONEY. Seriously, learn to budget.

12. Accept other people and other cultures, even if you disagree. Differences in cultures, races, genders, sexualities and ethnicities is what makes the world so phenomenal.

13. I still haven't used the Pythagorean Theorem since algebra my freshman year of high school.

14. Try your best to learn about taxes, 401ks, retirement and benefits before you enter the real world and have to call your dad to explain it to you when you get a random piece of mail that makes no sense to you. Love you Dad.

15. Spend 30 minutes a day off your phone and just relax, whether that be a good breakfast, a nice cup of coffee or watching Seinfeld before going to work.

16. Treat people with basic human respect. You may not like the person, but they're still a human. Treat them as such.

17. Work does not equal a best friend club, BUT if you didn't know that before entering the working world, then you're already way behind.

18. Learn the basics of car repair, i.e. knowing how to change a flat tire.

19. Patience is everything. Yelling at a computer for freezing on you five minutes before deadline will not make the computer fix itself faster. Believe me, I've tried.

20. Love your job and love what you do. If you don't enjoy the job you wake up for every day, then why enter the working world? Get something that makes you excited to get up at any time of day and take on the world. Do I enjoy getting up at 6 a.m. on random days throughout the week? No, but the reason I get up, which is my fantastic job, is what makes it all worth it.

These "Poster Christians" Need To Stop

For my father's sake, I will say that I am a religious person, but I consider myself to be more spiritual. I do not like organized religion, because I believe it does more harm than good. Mind you, this is coming from a woman who was raised in a converted Catholic family and was in Catholic school from first grade all the way through high school. 

My family is very religious. We attend Mass every week and every Holy Day of Obligation. We learned new things about the faith through school and my father's vastly expanse knowledge on Catholicism and religion as a whole. However, the one thing that my dad taught me and something I still abide by to this day is that the best way to show your faith and honor God is through actions and acting like a good person.

Yes, that is extremely hard, but it is something that I try to abide by as much as I can. HOWEVER, ever since I moved from Chicago to Kentucky, the amount of what I like to call "poster Christians" is far too high and need to stop. What is a "poster Christian?" I will tell you my interpretation of this phrase that I decided to coin to label these people. A "poster Christian" is the Christian that will shove God and religion down your throat, either verbally or through their RIDICULOUS amount of social media posts, about how God is the only way to be happy. However, these same people that throw this at you constantly will then do the exact opposite of what they're preaching about and be a straight hypocrite.

Ever since I moved into the Bible Belt (although I do not consider Kentucky to be the Bible Belt), these types of people are EVERYWHERE. Yes, I do not personally attend Mass every week because of my own reasons. However, when I get asked, "What religion are you?" and I say that I find myself to be a more spiritual person, these same people come at me and throw their Protestant faith down my throat and say that I'm not a good person, because I don't go to Mass every week. Also, why do you need to know how I identify religiously? That's already an odd question to ask when you initially meet someone.

Excuse me, I did not ask to get a Bible lesson from you, sir or ma'am. Also, doesn't God teach in your oh so revered book that you must treat everyone with kindness and forgiveness? So, by you criticizing my difference in religion and for not being a part of the cookie cutter religions, you, therefore, are doing the opposite of what you are taught in your church or faith.

That's only one example. Then there are the people who find a way to take a damn ThoughtCatalog listicle or an Odyssey article and spin it around to say that only God is the way you'll find a husband. WHAT? Are you kidding me? It's a ThoughtCatalog article people, not a religious article off a spiritual website. Calm down. You are the people that irritate me the most.

If I wanted to get a Bible lecture every day, I can call my father, a priest, a deacon, a monk or a nun and ask them questions. I did not log on to Facebook to see your manipulative changing of words so you can shove God down my throat about how the only way I will find a husband is through God. Pretty sure God wasn't at a bar, a concert, a frat party, etc. when two people met and fell in love.

It's you, these "poster Christians," that are creating more division and creating more hypocrisy than ever. Your social media posts may say that you're devout, kind, caring and accepting of all people, but your day-to-day action show the complete opposite. Pretty positive that God isn't going to check how many Bible quotes you've tweeted or posted as Facebook statuses to see whether or not you'll cross the Holy Gates. 

If you identify as a Christian, then the purpose of being Christian is to love, be kind and accept all people from all backgrounds. You must treat all people the way you would want to be treated. So, if you wanted to be treated like a hypocrite, then keep doing what you're doing. However, if you want to be treated the way that your social media posts proclaim, then stop posting about it online and just pass along love and positivity to one another. Stop being a poster child and feel the need to try and convert people through manipulative re-wording of an article written by a college student as a venting mechanism.

Let's Make Social Media Positive Again

So Facebook, back when I was in high school, was a place for us to post terribly editied pictures, study guides for classes, PHENOMENAL memes and links to YouTube videos. That platform, obviously, has changed a lot since 2008, both positively and negatively.

I still get my daily dose of adorable animals and memes, but I also get a daily dose of constant bickering back and forth about the most miniscule things. Politics seem to be the go-to subject for so many people, because political opinions as your Facebook status will obviously fix the issues.

It's also a place of pure negativity, insults and straight awful-ness (yes, I just made up a word. Deal with it). You can post something as simple as a kid busting moves to a bomb beat. You get mostly love from people UNTIL that one person just has to say something negative about the kid. They comment on their clothes, hair, appearance and even race. The amount of just blatantly prejudiced and racist comments that I see now is absurd.

For example, I shared a video of James Corden talking to Andy Samberg and Neil deGrasse Tyson talking about the Tooth Fairy. I swear to God; the Tooth Fairy. It was a comical anecdote about how kids will use rational logic to figure out whether or not the Tooth Fairy is real. Tyson spoke about his own kid, and he made a joke saying, "This is how adults should behave." I laughed my butt off when I heard it. So I shared it to spread positivity and comedy on a platform that has now become the center of political opinions and straight negativity.

The comment string then led into an argument about how parents shouldn't tell their kids about the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Santa, etc. You catch my drift. What started off as a simple joke then turned into people twisting it into a way to push across their political agenda or their moral/ethical code. WHY.

The point of social media is to connect to people across the world and share moments of your life with them. It's a way to share information. It's a way to see more cute puppy videos (I swear I follow more dog accounts than I do people). It's a way to spread positivity, not your uninvited political spout about the Tooth Fairy.

I've noticed this ACROSS THE BOARD of all social platforms. Twitter is where most people have "keyboard courage." These people can make fake accounts where their name is not attached to it and just start straight bashing of other people for the most ridiculous things. Look at what Beyonce fans do. You tweet one negative thing about Beyonce, and her fan base will come after you with everything they have. WHY. It's an artist. People can have a difference of opinion.

Instagram is just as bad. A celeb can post a picture of just them sitting with their family. Then that one person just has to comment something like "Wow. You're really ugly in this picture. You should delete." SON....SHUT UP. No one asked for your negativity to enter their life. Get it out of here.

The worst types of people are YouTube commenters. The people that actually take the time to write out hateful comments on a sketch video really need to find a better use of their time. These people can turn a video about a Chicago accent into a platform for their own religious beliefs. NO ONE ASKED YOU FOR IT. Just keep it to yourself. Scream it into a pillow if need be. Vent to one of your friends about it. Go on SnapChat rants, which is my personal favorite outlet when I come across stupidity.

I don't remember social media being this negative until these past three to four years. It was never this bad back when I first joined social media. Everyone just loved you for doing what interests you and wanting to share it with others. If people wanted to hear people yell about their political views, they can watch people like Tomi Lahren or Bill Maher. Get both ends of the spectrum at least.

Can we all try to make social media positive again? Instead of seeing political whinings or boastings about what your political party did or did not do, can we just spread love to people? Share a puppy video. Share a video of little kids getting into the arts. Share sports moments with each other. Share memes about the Dallas Cowboys. Let's get rid of this keyboard courage. If you're not strong enough to put your face and name to a comment that you want to make online, should you really be making that comment?

6 Months Away From Home

For those who don't know, I moved from Chicago to a tiny, little town in the middle of Eastern Kentucky for a job. I have yet to go back to Chicago since I moved here about six to seven months ago. HOWEVER, I never expected to enjoy a small town as much as I have.

I moved from the metropolis of over nine million people to a town of just about 6,000. Talk about a culture shock. When I first moved here, I was just stuck in a hole. I kept going up to Athens to see my old friends, I rarely left my apartment on my days off, and I just felt really out of place. I was a 6' tall Chicagoan who moved to the South, so I felt SUPER out of place.

I would go out on stories and cover high school and college athletes. I would make on average an hour drive to get these interviews and get to know these kids. The one thing that just kept showing itself over and over again is the amount of poverty in this part of the state. I would see delapidated houses, lawns that are unkept, hundreds of torn up mobile homes and just poverty stricken homes. But then, I would meet these kids, and they would blow my mind.

These kids, especially the high schoolers, are struggling through so much and have so many extra responsibilities that I didn't have growing up. I was blessed to grow in the city with so many options to help the family when I could. But these kids are just having a smile on their face, practice and play their butts off, and keep living their life to the best of their ability.

I never thought these high schoolers would be as influential on me as they have been. They have so many dreams and aspirations and they don't let their location get in the way. I had the privilege to live in such a big city and have so many opportunites at my disposal. These kids are scraping by to just be a success, and it's truly inspiring.

These parents of these kids are even more impressive. They sacrifice everything to make sure their baby can get the new gear for practice or take them all over the country so they can grow as athletes. I've interviewed so many parents and teenagers, and all of them have touched me in some way.

When I first moved here, I was a snob. I thought I was better than all these people down here, because I came from Chicago. I was stuck up. I admit that. Now that I've been here as long as I have, I realized that I'm not better than anyone else. These kids are all trying to acheive the same goals I had when I was their age. These kids have humbled me, and I never thought a small town would have that much of an impact on my life.

Oh 2016...

The end of the year is nearing which means time for a reflective piece on this past year. Just kidding. You can go and read everyone's Facebook statuses on New Year's Eve for that.

This is the time of year where you need to stop thinking about politics, crime and all the negatives that happened this past year. This is the time where you look to your siblings, parents, grandparents, friends, partners, spouses and think about the impact they made on you this past year.

Think about the great times you spent together. Think about the inside jokes that were created. Think about the time they spent with you and just listened so you could vent. Think about the time when you did the same for them. Think about the time when you celebrated that promotion, engagement, graduation or new job.

Think about the times they were there for you at your lowest point. Think about the times you were there for them. Think about all the drama that you fought through and how you came out stronger. Think about that one phone call. Think about that one text message.

Time is precious and what makes it precious is the people that surround you. Make sure you tell them you love them and that you care about them. Instead of binge-watching Netflix, call them and catch up. Instead of whining about the cold, see if they want to build a snowman. Instead of scrolling through Snapchat, Twitter or Instagram, go and take those pictures with them. Instead of thinking you're alone, know that there is at least one person who cares about you. You never realize how important they are until you don't see them everyday.

That's what this holiday season is about: love, family and friends. Spread it.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year.

Journalism Matters

The first amendment of the Constitution of this great country gives five freedoms to all citizens in this nation, one of them being freedom of the press. As of late, the media industry has been hasseled due to coverage of the presidential campaigns and other top issues, saying that there is bias when it comes to controversial issues.

Journalists have been threatened, harrassed and ridiculed for telling a story. Journalists have been construed to be menaces to society and people who want to uproot the values of this great nation. They say that "old" journalism back in the 1970s and earlier were the glory days of journalism, because things were exposed for the better of this country.

However, when controversial issues come to light, journalists are then the devil. Journalists become a great evil in some people's eyes. Journalism is then crushed as a field of work that just abides by an "agenda."

Did you ever think what a world without the media would be?

People wouldn't know how bad the murder rate is. People wouldn't know about the rising heroin epidemic. People wouldn't know about the scandals in the Catholic Church. People wouldn't know about Joe Paterno. People wouldn't know about Watergate. People wouldn't know about bombings overseas in Syria. People would be so ill-informed about the world around them.

Without journalism, the truth would not be known. History would be different. The government would be different. Sports would be different. Society as a whole would be different.

But because one outlet releases a story about something that you don't agree with no matter the facts behind it, you will hate the media. You hate the media because we open your eyes. You hate the media because we tell stories you may not enjoy but need to know. You hate the media because we expose people. You hate the media because we want you to stop living in a blissful world of ignorance.

You hate the media because you want to believe what you want to believe.

So before you go and say that the media is unimportant, just think about what the world would be like if there weren't people who wanted to dedicate their lives to finding out why something is the way it is. People who want to tell the story of a boy who shows that you can do anything you dream of doing. People who want to tell the story of how this one action can save thousands of lives.

People who want to make your voice heard.

Journalism matters.

This post was inspired by Bryan Vance.

America, Let's Talk

America, hey there. You all have got to know me at a pretty personal level. You know my opinions on a variety of topics, ranging from Hollywood to the judicial system. You also know intricate details about my friends and family. You know that I spend my free time, trying to improve at my job and further my career in every way possible.

However, there are MILLIONS of people in this world that would rather spend their free time on four of the most pointless things that (1) do not contribute anything positive to this country, (2) receive more attention that children being shot in the back while sitting on their porch on a Sunday afternoon and (3) are the most meaningless things in this country.

These four things are what I'm speaking about:
1) Beauty Pageants (on all levels)
2) The Royal Family
3) The Bachelor/Bachelorette
4) The Kardashians

Let's address each one in its own context, shall we?

Beauty pageants (specifically the ones for older, mature women). If this isn't the biggest barrier in the way of women wanting to be seen as more than a face, then I don't know what is. These women are being judged SOLELY on how they look. BUT WAIT. It's judgment based on how they look in different outfits. "But Karli, they have a question round. That shows personality." Yes, because a stunningly gorgeous woman that's trying to win a competition to be the prettiest girl in the country is going to have the answer to solve the crisis in the American education system. You all know that all those answers are SO rehearsed to include things that tug at the heart strings of these MALE judges so they don't seem too superficial. What a joke.

The Royal Family. America, WHY ARE WE SO OBSESSED WITH THIS USELESS FAMILY? Isn't the reason we started this country was for freedom of expression and to have a choice in government which Great Britain DIDN'T have? The Royal Family is the most useless body of people in world politics. What do they do? They do nothing that can be impactful on world relations or in their own country. The Prime Minister and Parliament do more than that queen has ever done. I will never forget in high school when classmates of mine woke up earlier than they would ever wake up for class to watch the Royal wedding. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. Why do you look up to and idolize these people when they do nothing at all that matters in this world?

The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Let me break down these shows. These people are so desperate for attention and love that they want their ENTIRE dating process broadcast to the whole nation. Men and women quit their jobs to have their dating life broadcast to the whole country. If this past season of the Bachelorette doesn't prove how much of a low life can win, then what will? A washed up quarterback who's the brother of a SUCCESSFUL NFL quarterback won this show. If you wanted to marry a washed up athlete, go to any small town, and you'll find them. They're a dime a dozen. They're not hard to find, seeing that they will tell you every stat/record/game they've ever had the moment you meet them ***gag.***

The Kardashians. I already wrote an entire blog on this family's ridiculousness so I'll spare you that schpiel.

You want to know what isn't getting any attention from media outlets because the American public would rather here about what Kylie wore to Fashion Week, what new milestones JoJo's relationship has hit, and what Prince Harry did on a private jet? A rising Chicago high school athlete was shot six times while he was sitting on his porch. An entire mining industry is crumbling, leaving hundreds of thousands of people out of work and destroying small towns. Another woman was raped, and there wasn't a just verdict. Another black person was racially profiled while they're on their way home, minding their own business. Another person lost their job. Another child was bullied to the point where they took their own life. Another person overdosed on heroine, which is a rising drug epidemic.

But you, the American public who I cater to because I'm in the news industry, don't want to hear those stories. You don't want to hear the story of an athlete who has gone through hell and back and finally caught his first touchdown as a senior. You don't want to hear about how the world is affecting you and what the future could be. You don't want to hear about how an entire portion of the American population is about to disappear.

You'd rather know what new white woman is Miss America.You want to know what designer Kim is wearing. You want to know what Prince George did on his second birthday.

America, let's get our priorities straight.

Today, Women Scream No

Today, a man by the name of Brock Turner is being released from jail after serving three months for sexually assaulting an unconscious girl behind a dumpster on Stanford's campus.

Today, that girl he assaulted is sitting in her home, knowing that he's back out in the world. Today, that girl is reliving that trauma in her mind, because his name is in the headlines.

Today, the judicial system of America shows its true colors. Today the judicial system believes his trauma of his three months of jail time is sufficient to the trauma that girl went through.

Today, the country is realizing that the victims of sexual assault and rape live through more trauma after the initial incident than during the actual incident. Today, people are realizing that these victims need support from the general public so this man doesn't walk free.

However, today in a classroom, little boys are not being taught about consent. Today, little boys are not being taught that no means no and to respect a woman, because she is a human being.

However, today in a school, little girls are being sent home for violating dress code, because it's distracting the boys. Today, little girls are being taught that they are only seen as a sexual object by doing that.

Today, there's another woman getting assaulted or raped, screaming no, but that man won't stop. Today, that woman's whole life and pysche will change drastically in ways that won't hit her until later.

Today, another man that's up for trial for sexual assault or rape is getting a sentence that is nowhere near the severity it needs to be. Today, that man will not learn his lesson, because jail doesn't teach consent.

Today, I write this as a plea for help as a sexual assault victim. I write this to shed light on how society is not changing this culture; it's perpetuating it. I write this to let you know that you can help change this culture.

Today, I'm done staying silent and feeling guilty. Today, I stand up, not just as a woman, but as a human, and scream for your help, like that woman who was raped did.

But don't ignore this scream as you did ignore that woman screaming no as a man violates her in a dark alleyway. Don't ignore this scream as the judicial system ignores the screams of every sexual assault victim and rape victim in this country.

Just listen and learn from this article. Instead of creating a strict dress code for women, teach men what consent is. Instead of ignoring a scream for help, run and see what you can do to help. Instead of being an observant bystander, be an active one. Instead of staying silent, stand up and shout for justice with the rest of us.

Today, women scream to be treated as a human being. Today women scream,
"enough is enough". Today, women scream, "No" to this abomination of the definition of the word "justice." Today, women scream, "No" to this man walking free.

Don't ignore this "No." Go and help.

"You're Just A Woman"

What is the definition of the word "woman?' According to Merriam-Webster, it is the following: an adult female person. What is the definition of the word "female?" According to Merriam-Webster, it is the following: of, relating to, or being the sex that bears young or produces eggs.

I am not here to give you a vocabulary lesson. I am here to point something out to all of you. The ONLY difference between a man and a woman or male and female is biology. That's it. Women have different reproductive organs than men. That's how simple it is. Are there are different attitudes for each gender? Absolutely, but from a human aspect, biology is all that differs.

Yet, women are the target for ridicule, harrassment, public humiliation, and degradation, all being sexual.

Men can be targeted and are targeted, but it is women who bear the brunt of it. A woman can't wear make-up, because it's "deceiving;" a woman must wear make-up, because we must "impress men." A woman can't be curvacious, because it's not "trendy;" A woman can't be skinny, because curves are "sexy." A woman can't be a mother, because we're fighting for "female empowerment;" a woman must be a mother, because that's what "our future is." A woman can't have opinions, because that's "bitchy;" a woman must have opinions, because you can't be considered "basic."

Do you catch my drift?

Women are constantly playing this tug of war game with society to be the "perfect woman." If a woman posts anything that shows her pride in her work, she's fishing for compliments, but if a woman posts a picture of nature or a Starbucks coffee, she's considered basic. If a woman speaks out about sexual harrasment, rape, sexual assault, or invasion of privacy that she's experienced, she's ridiculed.

Take a look at the Erin Andrews situation.

She is a very successful sports broadcaster, who has worked her tail off to earn her success. She went through trauma when someone secretly recorded her naked and posted it online for the entire world to see. However, it wasn't the deplorable human being that was attacked when her settlement was reached; it was Erin. People attacked her, saying that she should be "thanking the person who recorded her, because without it, she wouldn't be famous". "She should expect this when she's always in the spotlight."

WHY SHOULD A WOMAN EXPECT SEXUAL HARRASSMENT FOR BEING SUCCESSFUL?

Because I have worked my butt off, made enormous sacrifices, spent money I don't have on a degree, and did everything asked of me to eventually become successful, I must expect sexual harrassment. Did you ever think for a second what harrassment would do to me, personally?

Instead of what the person thinks is happening (I'm, apparently, supposed to take harrassment as a compliment), I am thinking so low of myself. I believe that I am just a piece of trash that is kicked around in the dirt. I am worthless, useless, an object, just not human. Then, in Erin's situation, she had to relive that trauma in front of hundreds of cameras, bringing back all of those wretched thoughts and feelings, and then being ridiculed for going public with it.

Imagine if that happened to you, men.

Imagine if a woman said the most objectifying things you can think of, but in their mind, they're complimenting you. However, your mind is racing with thoughts about why this woman only sees you as her boy toy, as just an object, just something that has no worth, no use, and no point in this very human and real world.

But imagine you can't speak publically about it, because then you're just seeking attention...

That's what Erin went through. That's what all women go through. 

Treat others as you would want to be treated. 

Why Is A Wife The Goal?

22 years. I think I've reached the age where I can't act like a stupid kid anymore (although Pokemon Go may change that). 22 years of seeing my family grow and age with me. 22 years of seeing friends come and go. 22 years of making new friendships and watching friendships disintegrate. 22 years of the single life; the best life.

That's right ladies and gentlemen. 22 years of being single, and it's the best life. I know I may sound like a girl who internally is dying for a relationship, but believe me, I'm not. The question I get all the time is "How have you been single your whole life?" Can you all stop asking me this question please? I've been single, because I want to be.

Do I have flings? Absolutely, but they never last more than three weeks and then wither away. The reason I want to be single is so different than what most assume. People assume that I'm too "independent" (whatever that means) for a relationship. I take that as the compliment. Here's why:

Being "too independent" means I put my needs, friends, family, career and
everything else first. I care so much about my friends and family; seeing them succeed is the best high in the world. Knowing that a friend of mine just got hired was an amazing feeling. Knowing that my brother got his permit (Lord save us) is fantastic. Seeing my career progress day by day is so fulfilling.

I put more energy towards success than I ever would towards a boyfriend. Seeing your dreams become reality is so much better than a relationship, in my opinion. Knowing that you gave your all towards your career and for it to pay off is the best high. I'm in a committed relationship with making my career goals become a reality.

If you really think about it, a relationship is just glorified eating, sleeping, talking and intercourse. Why is that something that people want to aspire to? Why is it that when I tell people I have zero intention of ever getting married or having kids that I'm seen as a "disappointment" or "aggressive?"  Why is being a wife the best acheviement for a woman?

"Being married means you get to share your life with someone." I do that already with my family and my friends who have been there before a man will walk into the picture. "You'll change your mind when you meet the right person." Or I'll just continue to live my regular life and enjoy my friends and my family. "You'll die alone." Ok, cool. Is that supposed to scare me?

Why is being alone such a scary thing for people to accept? Being alone allows you to discover your inner self. Just recently, I put my phone down in a different room, grabbed my old writing pad, put on some Rolling Stones and just started writing. That free write was the most eye-opening thing I've done in months. Everyone should do that to see what your mind is capable of creating. It's astonishing.

Being alone also has great perks. I get a whole queen bed to myself (which is amazing). I save a BOATLOAD of money. I get to spend more time with my friends and family. I have the opportunity to meet new people on a regular basis. I can do basically anything I want when I want. That is immensely freeing.

As I continue on in my life, this mindset can change. I'm not rigid in this mindset, but it's what I've known for 22 years. I've loved every minute of it. So I'm going to keep living my life, the single life and the best life for as long as God lets me.

773

773     312     847     708     630     224

The area codes of the CHI

Chicago

The best city in this country

North, South and West

The Lake takes the East

From State and Michigan

All the way to me

The Northwest Side

My home and my life

Memory lane on Waveland

Asphalt instead of wildlife

Cement instead of grass

Alleyways instead of hardwood

Parks instead of fields

Where I found friends for good

13 big brothers and teachers

6 Ball players

10 Friars

And me, her

Thank you for the memories

But I have to leave

Time to start my life again

But CHI will always be on my sleeve

I wear the flag with pride

I represent the 773

I'm a city girl

I always will be

Goodbye Chicago

Hello Kentucky

But what I can say is

Thank you for creating me

One day I'll be back

On your TV screens

Talking Bears football

And still representing the 773

Am I The Only One?

As almost every millenial does, BuzzFeed videos have become how I waste my time when I'm bored. I love the content they create; it ranges from tasting different types of food/alcohol to talking about serious issues like body image. I've seen so many different types of videos, and the body image ones always capture my attention.

One of my favorites they created was when people lived without a mirror/reflective surfaces for a week. As I watched this, it showed me more about the ridiculous amount of reflective surfaces we have in this world. It's quite terrifying. At the end of the video, the women participants discussed how they feel when they look in the mirror. Almost all of them had extremely negative things to say about themselves.

Am I the only one who can look in a mirror and love everything I see?

And why is it that when I say that, the first thought that runs through your head is this: "God, she is so full of herself. She's so narcissitic."

Let me explain why I think this. I was blessed to grow up with a loving family and with a great group of guy friends. When I was a little girl, I was bullied all the time. I was skinny-shamed back in the early 2000s (that's right; it happened then, too) and made fun of my bad teeth. I did have crooked teeth, and I was very skinny; I still am.

That affected me to a point, but the guys I grew up with never once commented on my appearance unless it was in a positive way or there was something in my teeth. Then I realized something. The only people who ever commented on my appearance negatively were women. That's it. Those people were the only people who criticized how I looked in a negative light.

Women, why do we do this? Why are we bringing each other down? Everyone is different. Everyone has a different silhoutte, hair, weight, skin color, skin complexion, smile, everything. Differences are what make everyone beautiful. If everyone looked the same, then life would be so dull and boring.

I am so blessed I grew up with guys who loved me because of my personality and who I am as a person. That's why I love how I look in a mirror. I love every part of my body, from my long legs to my non-existent butt (it's straight flatsville back there). All of these differences are a part of who I am. There's a way that we can have every woman love what they see in the mirror.

Women: STOP SHAMING WOMEN. Let's be honest; a compliment from a man (as a heterosexual woman) does nothing for me. It can be construed as so many things that I honestly can't tell if it's genuine. However, ladies, do you not agree that the only time you compliment another woman is when it's a genuine compliment? Women rarely give fake compliments to other women, because we know that most women tear down physical appearance instead of build it up.

If we change this, then the mirror can stop being something women fear. The mirror can be a place where we can boost our self-esteem and love our bodies for what they are. Let's stop tearing down people because we're jealous. Instead, let's love what we see in the mirror and love being you.