Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Why Is A Wife The Goal?

22 years. I think I've reached the age where I can't act like a stupid kid anymore (although Pokemon Go may change that). 22 years of seeing my family grow and age with me. 22 years of seeing friends come and go. 22 years of making new friendships and watching friendships disintegrate. 22 years of the single life; the best life.

That's right ladies and gentlemen. 22 years of being single, and it's the best life. I know I may sound like a girl who internally is dying for a relationship, but believe me, I'm not. The question I get all the time is "How have you been single your whole life?" Can you all stop asking me this question please? I've been single, because I want to be.

Do I have flings? Absolutely, but they never last more than three weeks and then wither away. The reason I want to be single is so different than what most assume. People assume that I'm too "independent" (whatever that means) for a relationship. I take that as the compliment. Here's why:

Being "too independent" means I put my needs, friends, family, career and
everything else first. I care so much about my friends and family; seeing them succeed is the best high in the world. Knowing that a friend of mine just got hired was an amazing feeling. Knowing that my brother got his permit (Lord save us) is fantastic. Seeing my career progress day by day is so fulfilling.

I put more energy towards success than I ever would towards a boyfriend. Seeing your dreams become reality is so much better than a relationship, in my opinion. Knowing that you gave your all towards your career and for it to pay off is the best high. I'm in a committed relationship with making my career goals become a reality.

If you really think about it, a relationship is just glorified eating, sleeping, talking and intercourse. Why is that something that people want to aspire to? Why is it that when I tell people I have zero intention of ever getting married or having kids that I'm seen as a "disappointment" or "aggressive?"  Why is being a wife the best acheviement for a woman?

"Being married means you get to share your life with someone." I do that already with my family and my friends who have been there before a man will walk into the picture. "You'll change your mind when you meet the right person." Or I'll just continue to live my regular life and enjoy my friends and my family. "You'll die alone." Ok, cool. Is that supposed to scare me?

Why is being alone such a scary thing for people to accept? Being alone allows you to discover your inner self. Just recently, I put my phone down in a different room, grabbed my old writing pad, put on some Rolling Stones and just started writing. That free write was the most eye-opening thing I've done in months. Everyone should do that to see what your mind is capable of creating. It's astonishing.

Being alone also has great perks. I get a whole queen bed to myself (which is amazing). I save a BOATLOAD of money. I get to spend more time with my friends and family. I have the opportunity to meet new people on a regular basis. I can do basically anything I want when I want. That is immensely freeing.

As I continue on in my life, this mindset can change. I'm not rigid in this mindset, but it's what I've known for 22 years. I've loved every minute of it. So I'm going to keep living my life, the single life and the best life for as long as God lets me.