Why Is A Wife The Goal?

22 years. I think I've reached the age where I can't act like a stupid kid anymore (although Pokemon Go may change that). 22 years of seeing my family grow and age with me. 22 years of seeing friends come and go. 22 years of making new friendships and watching friendships disintegrate. 22 years of the single life; the best life.

That's right ladies and gentlemen. 22 years of being single, and it's the best life. I know I may sound like a girl who internally is dying for a relationship, but believe me, I'm not. The question I get all the time is "How have you been single your whole life?" Can you all stop asking me this question please? I've been single, because I want to be.

Do I have flings? Absolutely, but they never last more than three weeks and then wither away. The reason I want to be single is so different than what most assume. People assume that I'm too "independent" (whatever that means) for a relationship. I take that as the compliment. Here's why:

Being "too independent" means I put my needs, friends, family, career and
everything else first. I care so much about my friends and family; seeing them succeed is the best high in the world. Knowing that a friend of mine just got hired was an amazing feeling. Knowing that my brother got his permit (Lord save us) is fantastic. Seeing my career progress day by day is so fulfilling.

I put more energy towards success than I ever would towards a boyfriend. Seeing your dreams become reality is so much better than a relationship, in my opinion. Knowing that you gave your all towards your career and for it to pay off is the best high. I'm in a committed relationship with making my career goals become a reality.

If you really think about it, a relationship is just glorified eating, sleeping, talking and intercourse. Why is that something that people want to aspire to? Why is it that when I tell people I have zero intention of ever getting married or having kids that I'm seen as a "disappointment" or "aggressive?"  Why is being a wife the best acheviement for a woman?

"Being married means you get to share your life with someone." I do that already with my family and my friends who have been there before a man will walk into the picture. "You'll change your mind when you meet the right person." Or I'll just continue to live my regular life and enjoy my friends and my family. "You'll die alone." Ok, cool. Is that supposed to scare me?

Why is being alone such a scary thing for people to accept? Being alone allows you to discover your inner self. Just recently, I put my phone down in a different room, grabbed my old writing pad, put on some Rolling Stones and just started writing. That free write was the most eye-opening thing I've done in months. Everyone should do that to see what your mind is capable of creating. It's astonishing.

Being alone also has great perks. I get a whole queen bed to myself (which is amazing). I save a BOATLOAD of money. I get to spend more time with my friends and family. I have the opportunity to meet new people on a regular basis. I can do basically anything I want when I want. That is immensely freeing.

As I continue on in my life, this mindset can change. I'm not rigid in this mindset, but it's what I've known for 22 years. I've loved every minute of it. So I'm going to keep living my life, the single life and the best life for as long as God lets me.

Why is it Gendered?

I know you’ve probably seen and/or read articles where female sports fans go on their rants about the ‘struggles’ of being a sports fan. Yes, all of them are true; BUT let me turn the table to the men so you know what it feels like when something you’re knowledgeable on is challenged by the opposite sex/gender.

For my well-dressed men out there: I bet you think you’re very knowledgeable on designers, styles, fashion eras, etc. Let’s say you’re shopping with your girlfriend, and she is getting a little black dress with ruching. You say, “Oh, I really like the ruching on that dress.” Your girlfriend responds, “Why do you know what that is? Where does the term come from? What designer made this popular?” You feel bombarded and belittled; you have no time to respond, because she keeps cutting you off.

Not into fashion? Well then, let’s continue…

For my music men: I bet you think you’re very knowledgeable on the changing chart toppers or the new underground music that’s starting to hit the scene. Let’s say a woman you’re talking to is also a big music fanatic. She starts bombarding you with questions about the biography of the band or artist, how many albums they’ve made, where they’re originally from, etc.

EVEN BETTER: Let’s say you’re a big One Direction/Justin Bieber/Taylor Swift/”girly music” band fan. You tell a woman this and she asks, “Oh, is this just a phase?” You feel insulted, because, apparently, it’s weird for men to like what’s considered girly music.

Still doesn’t apply to you? Well, hold on buddy; let me make this clear to you:

Hobbies and interests are not gendered. It’s completely acceptable for women to love football, baseball, basketball, soccer, any sport, just how it’s completely acceptable for men to like Justin Bieber or know about the fashion industry. Men, you say you want to change the perspective of women or that you’re a feminist, yet you push the old school traditional values held by our grandparents on women.

I’m not trying to bash men; that’s the last thing I’m trying to do. I’m trying to open your eyes to your actions and how it would feel if the way you treat women was done to you. The fact that women in the 21^st century are still being ridiculed or questioned for liking sports is despicable, just how men in the 21^st century are still being ridiculed or questioned for liking things that are considered to be feminine.

Let people be who they are. The only way that these old school traditional values can be erased is through action by BOTH men and women. If men want to wear pink (only REAL men wear pink) or want to be into very poppy music, because they like to do so, let them. If women want to follow sports and know the statistics of their team because they like to do so, let them. The first step to getting rid of these gender roles is through action, so let’s get started.

Catcalling...Really?

Recently, a woman in New York City created a video with a company to show that catcalling happens, even in the 21st century. The video shocked many men, including my male friends. They texted me nonstop once the video came out, saying, "You gotta see this video. It's so eye-opening." I replied nonchalantly, "This is not shocking. This happens every day to women, no matter where it is."

They were stunned that people catcall this much, even though I've witnessed these same men catcall other women around me. When I was younger, I thought nothing of it. As I've gotten older, I've become so irritated and annoyed by catcalling that I sometimes overreact to men catcalling me. Sometimes, the catcalling becomes very physical.

For example, my friends and I were walking to my friend's place. To get there, we have to walk down Court Street, the main road of Athens, Ohio. We were looking decent; I was wearing jeans, a nice shirt, and a fleece. Out of nowhere, a guy comes up behind me, slaps my butt, and walks away. I was astonished that someone had the audacity to do something like this.

Naturally, because of my nature, I ran after him to approach him. I tapped him on the shoulder, and this was the conversation that ensued:
     "Excuse me, sir."
     "Yes?"
     "Why did you find it appropriate to slap my a**?"
     "Because I liked what I saw. You should be flattered."
     "Actually, I'm not flattered. Who do you think you are that you can go up to a random girl walking down the street and slap her butt? You're no one special, and no one should do that."
     "Jesus, girl. Calm down. Stop being such a b****."
     "Me calling you out on objectifying women makes me a b****? Really? You know what, I hope you realize that I just caused a scene about you doing something completely disrespectful to a woman you don't know in front of a boatload of men and women. You royally screwed yourself over. Have fun trying to talk to any girl tonight."

As I walked away, every girl that witnessed this gave me the biggest smile. Some complimented me on standing up for myself.

What was flabbergasting is that he believed that I should be complimented by him slapping me. Really? You disrespecting women is a compliment? Are you serious? Another thing that was shocking was that he called me a derrogatory name, because I stood up for myself.

This is something that isn't new. Strong women and women who stand up for themselves are always called horrible names. News flash men: we don't need you to be successful. I don't need a boyfriend, fiance, or husband to be happy or successful in my life. I can be happy through work and through friends and family. You are not our sole focus or priority in life.

Why is catcalling still happening? Men, grow up. Calling a random woman out on the street in a sexual manner is disgusting, pathetic, and disrespectful. A true man would approach a woman and try to initiate a conversation. You will not get anything out of catcalling a woman as you drive by her on the street or walk past her on the street. Grow up and stop this now.