Don't Stand Up...Unless It's For Your Rights

I've noticed that this blog has become an outlet for me, to release stress and be a healthy way to let myself go in a matter of typing. This month's post is going to be just a tad different than in the past. In case you readers didn't know this, I wrote a piece for Thought Catalog in the summer of 2014. It discussed an issue about being asked, "Why are you still single?"

It's a nice rant for the single ladies as Valentine's Day is coming up, or as I like to refer to it as Single Awareness Day (PDAs are just too real that day, and it needs to go away). Anyway, I just went through something that no woman should ever experience. Unfortunately, I have experienced this now for the fourth time in my life, and it has me questioning things about myself and my personality.

Back in December, I was talking to this one guy, who will stay nameless. We were talking for a few weeks. Here's the twist: we met online, and yes, it was Tinder. Go ahead and judge, but that app is a great way to get an ego boost and meet people. Anyway, we started talking, and he seemed like an alright guy. I wanted to meet the kid just to feel things out. So I asked him if he was free on a Thursday night to grab a bite and just meet up in person. He told me he was available and would meet me at this sub shop back home in Chicago. We agreed to meet up at 8.

I'm at my house getting ready and having my awesome little sister pick out jewelry for me to wear. I realized I was running a little late, so I shot him a text saying I was running behind. He responded, "That's fine. I'll meet you there." I get there around 8:15, and see that he wasn't there. I texted him; no response. I waited about a half hour; again, no response. Another hour goes by; no response. By this time, I am livid and angry that, for the fourth time in my life, I have been stood up.

I drove home after some much needed retail therapy (I also justified it as a way to use the gift cards I got for Christmas). I burst in the door with bags in hand; my mom looks at me and just felt awful for me that she's seen this happen to me four times now.

Men, WHY? Why do you stand up chicks? Do you know how much effort goes into getting ready? That involves putting on a full face of makeup, doing our hair, finding an outfit that isn't a pair of sweats and a hoodie...you just made me waste about two hours of my time.

I wasn't expecting this guy to become a relationship, and that maltreatment of my time and my emotions guaranteed that. What was even worse is that he texted me the next day, completely ignoring what happened. I ignored him for days and weeks until he got the hint. I then found him subtweeting about me and how girls play mind games. Excuse me, but you toyed with my emotions and wasted my time to satisfy whatever you needed to satisfy. And women are the ones who play mind games.

Men, women are not difficult to figure out. We are quite simple. Just don't get us angry, and you will be on easy street. If you've met a girl who is way more complex than that, then I feel so bad for you. For example, as long as you respect my schedule and that I don't feel the need to speak to you every single second of the day, you will do just fine.

If you can't make the date or you feel like you're too nervous (which you know you feel), then just let us know. Just text us. We will be upset that you did make us waste a couple hours, but I know that we would still continuing talking to you because you were honest with us. That's all it takes. Learn your lesson men. You're welcome.

What the Holidays are Really About

December is always a month where everyone just seems to be in a cheerier mood. Why? It's almost Christmas time. Christmas brings out a sense of generosity in everyone to all people. It's a great thing to witness and take part in as well. However, people seem to realize what these holidays really do, and what saddens me is that not everyone can experience this.

The holidays are meant to bring family and friends together and reminisce about the past year. However, so many people have never felt this feeling of what a family truly is, and that hurts my heart. I was blessed to grow up in a loving family with parents who have been together for over 20 years and two amazing little siblings. My parents had in-laws that loved everyone in the family. I have cousins, aunts, and uncles that are all able to get along with loving grandparents.

Just a few weeks before the end of my fall semester of junior year, I was speaking with a friend of mine. They told me that they have never really celebrated the holidays with their family; everyone just goes on with their day as if there's nothing special. They also told me that they have never felt like they are a part of family. There's no unity, trust, or familial aspect to their life.

I have never felt so sad hearing this, and it really made me reflect on my life. I was blessed with a family that, obviously, has its ups and downs but will always be there for anyone in need in the family. I never knew that some people were never blessed with this familial aspect of their life.

I've also read stories on some homeless and less financially fortunate who have no one else in their life to turn to for help. They are truly alone and have nowhere to turn. They stay in raggedy homeless shelters where they can get the necessities, but they have no one to spend a holiday. This is just depressing and sad.

Merry Christmas from Me!

Why am I mentioning all this negativity with just a week before Christmas? To remind you of something. No matter how much wealth or material posessions you have, you will only find true joy in spending some time with someone close to you. That can range from your family to your best friend to a significant other. For those who feel alone, you know that deep down, there is at least one person you can reach out to in your time of need. Connect with someone who you have lost touch with and have a mini-reunion. Enjoy your holidays with just one person that will appreciate that someone cares about them.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays.

Catcalling...Really?

Recently, a woman in New York City created a video with a company to show that catcalling happens, even in the 21st century. The video shocked many men, including my male friends. They texted me nonstop once the video came out, saying, "You gotta see this video. It's so eye-opening." I replied nonchalantly, "This is not shocking. This happens every day to women, no matter where it is."

They were stunned that people catcall this much, even though I've witnessed these same men catcall other women around me. When I was younger, I thought nothing of it. As I've gotten older, I've become so irritated and annoyed by catcalling that I sometimes overreact to men catcalling me. Sometimes, the catcalling becomes very physical.

For example, my friends and I were walking to my friend's place. To get there, we have to walk down Court Street, the main road of Athens, Ohio. We were looking decent; I was wearing jeans, a nice shirt, and a fleece. Out of nowhere, a guy comes up behind me, slaps my butt, and walks away. I was astonished that someone had the audacity to do something like this.

Naturally, because of my nature, I ran after him to approach him. I tapped him on the shoulder, and this was the conversation that ensued:
     "Excuse me, sir."
     "Yes?"
     "Why did you find it appropriate to slap my a**?"
     "Because I liked what I saw. You should be flattered."
     "Actually, I'm not flattered. Who do you think you are that you can go up to a random girl walking down the street and slap her butt? You're no one special, and no one should do that."
     "Jesus, girl. Calm down. Stop being such a b****."
     "Me calling you out on objectifying women makes me a b****? Really? You know what, I hope you realize that I just caused a scene about you doing something completely disrespectful to a woman you don't know in front of a boatload of men and women. You royally screwed yourself over. Have fun trying to talk to any girl tonight."

As I walked away, every girl that witnessed this gave me the biggest smile. Some complimented me on standing up for myself.

What was flabbergasting is that he believed that I should be complimented by him slapping me. Really? You disrespecting women is a compliment? Are you serious? Another thing that was shocking was that he called me a derrogatory name, because I stood up for myself.

This is something that isn't new. Strong women and women who stand up for themselves are always called horrible names. News flash men: we don't need you to be successful. I don't need a boyfriend, fiance, or husband to be happy or successful in my life. I can be happy through work and through friends and family. You are not our sole focus or priority in life.

Why is catcalling still happening? Men, grow up. Calling a random woman out on the street in a sexual manner is disgusting, pathetic, and disrespectful. A true man would approach a woman and try to initiate a conversation. You will not get anything out of catcalling a woman as you drive by her on the street or walk past her on the street. Grow up and stop this now.

What's the Deal with Award Season?

The MTV Video Music Awards, or VMAs, were this past week. Almost everyone's eyes was on their television, waiting to see who would win what award or if there would be a repeat of Miley Cyrus. Well, there was nothing as jaw-dropping as Miley Cyrus' performance last year, but Beyonce pulled on the heart strings with her whole album performance and being awarded by her husband and child.

I was one of the few people who was not watching the VMAs (in case you want to know, I was watching Bears highlights on YouTube). I read about the happenings on Twitter and watched the trends the following morning.

Thinking about the VMAs in retrospect, I kept wondering why these award seasons are ridiculously popular. I understand four awards: Grammys, Emmys, Oscars, and Tonys. Every other award, e.g. the TCA, PCA, VMAs, etc, seems absolutely pointless. Why does a singer/band need an award, because they put together a great video? There are THOUSANDS of people who can create videos at the same caliber or even better, and they are not being recognized.

The TCA & PCAs? Really? Let's give you an award because people like you? Then give everyone in the world a TCA or PCA, because at least one person likes another person. It's absolutely pointless.

Again, while I was considering the purpose of these awards, I remembered a fellow classmate from my high school. He stated, "The award season is basically watching rich and wealthy people receive awards from other rich and wealthy people for singing or portraying someone that they're not." That could not be more true. Think about it for a second.

The Oscars, Emmys, and Tonys are awards given out for acting in Hollywood and on Broadway. What is acting in reality? Acting is a way to play a person that you aren't, a fantasy, an escape from reality. There are people being REWARDED for playing something they're not. Isn't the point of life to be rewarded for being who you are? It's hypocritical.

The Grammys are awards given out to singers. Well, there are MILLIONS of people that are talented singers across the world, yet they didn't receive a grammy. Why? Because they don't have a contract with the music industry. That's really the only reason they didn't receive one. That's absolutely ridiculous.

People then say, "Well, the fashion is what I care about." You could actually wait until the next day, pick up a tabloid, and see what these celebrities wore to the event. You could also subscribe to fashion magazine and see what they will probably wear months before they decide.

"Well, I like the performances." That's what YouTube is for; you can see past live performances that these singers/bands have done. You can also go and see them in concert yourself.

After reading all this, do you really see a reason to waste three or four hours of your time to watch rich people receive an award?

Gone But Not Forgotten: John Malone

Sportsmanship, competition, and basketball: three things that John Malone treasures and showed on and off the court. Just one year ago, Fenwick High School lost a member of the class of 2011, John Malone Jr., in a car accident. Malone was a star basketball player for the Friars, and the game he played is now a memorial to him.

Fellow classmates Leo Latz, Tim Gancer, Joe Dwyer, and Dylan Barnett created the John Malone Memorial Basketball Tournament at Fenwick. It is now in its second year and is still going strong. However, the tournament is not the only way Malone is being remembered at Fenwick High School.

"There is the John Malone 52 scholarship that is academic based. It goes to two incoming freshmen and one current senior; they are each worth $3,000," said Latz.

The fund is sponsored through donations and selling custom made t-shirts at the tournament that has Malone's name and number he wore at Fenwick on the back. In their first year alone, the fund was able to raise almost $4,000.

"The tournament says a lot about the Fenwick communtiy," said Gancer. "Event though you may not have been great friends with him, people still came out to support the family and each other."

The Malone family as well as fellow classmates are hoping for this tournament and scholarship to continue on in the many years to come.

Malone touched everyone's hearts in some way. Whether it was through his warm smile, his humor, or just any memory that someone had with them, Malone defined what a Fenwick Friar is. He treated everyone with respect, kindness, and compassion. John Malone may have physically left this world, but his spirit and presence is eternal and with each and every one he ever had contact with.

Special thanks to Scott Theis, Athletic Director at Fenwick High School, and the Malone family.

A Sharp Turn Down the Road of Life

Well, as many of you may know, I am out in Omaha, interning at WOWT in the sports department. I'm having the best summer, getting hands-on experience in a newsroom, and living the dream covering some Triple A baseball and the College World Series. Guess what; I'm not there.

After just two days in the newsroom, I started feeling very sick. I could barely keep my eyes open, because the light hurt my eyes. I was fatigued all the time, trying to fit multiple naps in somewhere throughout my day. I couldn't talk, because my throat felt swollen. My head was pounding non-stop; I didn't know what was wrong with me. I thought it was a 24-hour bug so I went in to the station the next day.

I was still not feeling well, but I was better than I was the day before. I went in to the newsroom, and I was trying to find some energy. I was getting weaker and weaker. I was using so much energy to just try and keep my eyes open. I went to a doctor, and they told me it was a sinus infection. They gave me some antibiotics, and I went on my way home.

A couple days later, I was still wasn't feeling well. I ended up getting sick while I was on the job. I went to another doctor, and they gave me different antibiotics. It did nothing; I was getting really upset, because I was missing all these days at the station without getting any better. Finally, my uncle noticed that I was red in the face and not my normal sunburn red. I looked in the mirror, and it looked like I had chicken pox all over my face. I went to a doctor for the third time. They said it was either strep or mono (mind you, I haven't had strep since I had my tonsils and anoids removed when I was 5). Doc came back after running a blood test and told me I had tested positive for mono.

Those were the hardest six words I have ever heard. Those words meant my internship was done, my part time job I had was done, and I would have to come back home to Chicago. I was balling my eyes out, knowing that the summer I was so excited for just disappeared. I went back to my uncle's house and just could not stop crying. I called my boss at the station, and he was really understanding of the whole situation. I was only in the newsroom for four days, and he still offered me the internship for next summer. That was the absolute last thing I expected; I was waiting for a "Well, it was great working with you for a short time. Feel better and enjoy your upcoming school year." Four days and I still received an internship for next summer? I was astounded.

I called my parents, and my mom flew out to come and get me on Father's Day. I just sunk into depression on the entire eight hour drive back to Chicago. Granted, I was given a second chance for next summer, but I wanted it this summer (you will come to find that I can be very impatient). I was so upset at myself for not taking care of my body throughout the entire school year. Instead, I ignored any health problem I had so I could be with friends, study, or be at WOUB on campus.

A month and 20 pounds later, I am almost over this disease. I had red dots all over my body, I lost so much weight, my hearing was damaged, and I slept for practically a month. Blood test after blood test, aspirins, constant visits to doctors; I swear Northwestern Hospital should know me by name by now. All this free time that I've had this month has helped me instead of harmed me, like I originally thought.

I have been spending this time getting healthy as a way to continue my work. I have been writing constantly, whether it's on this blog or it's a sports piece for SportsRants Women. I have been working on my memoirs non stop. While my family went on their vacation, I spent time with my grandfather (by that, I mean he spoiled me). I've found this new strength, both physical and mental, that I've never experienced. This time has taught me to think of each sharp turn down this road of life as the long way to acheiving my goals and aspirations. Eventually, I'll get there with hard work, connections, and a bit of luck. Am I happy I got mono? No, but I am happy with what this disease did to me: open my eyes a bit more and just go along for the drive on this road of life.

Being a Big Girl: Another Step in Adulthood

What a month. I'm now a junior in college; it feels like it was just yesterday that I graduated high school. Time really flies when you do what you love. I finished the torturous finals week and was ready to start my summer. I was only home for three weeks, and boy, did they put me to the test.

I knew coming back home was going to be difficult. My grandmother's health was declining, friends were in town for only a short while, and I was only going to be home for three weeks. I had a lot to do in a short amount of time. My first week was spent with family seeing as my friends were just then entering their finals week. I visited my grandmother on almost a daily basis, checking in and making sure everything was ok.

Days pass by, and her health deteriorated rapidly. She was having a hard time just doing basic things, like breathing. She was able to make it through Mother's Day, but shortly there after, she took her last breath. My grandmother passed away on May 18, one week before I was supposed to leave for the summer.

I apologize for starting on a sad note, but when you lose someone that close to you, it needs to be stated first and foremost. I was able to catch up with my friends, patch up differences with old friends, and make new ones as well. I was able to see a few friends of mine that I haven't seen since I was 10 years old. I met new people at my grandmother's memorial service and at random restaurants all over the city.

However, this past week alone has taught me that I'm not just Mom and Dad's daughter; I need to grow and be on my own. Yes, that's what college is for, exploring new found independence, but eventually, you come home. Sometimes, you see your parents in their weakest states and have to be their shoulder to cry and depend on. Other times, you realize that your siblings will age and become more and more mature; they don't need you to mother them anymore.

I've had both revelations this past week. Being the oldest, I am already someone that the family depends on with petty housework and babysitting. But when I became an emotional pillar for my mother, that's when reality really kicked in. I have to grow up and stop acting like a child. I have to be there for my family (as everyone should always be there for their families), but I also need to grow and flourish as an individual and as a journalist.

This past week, I had the amazing opportunity to get a tour of Halas Hall and meet with the communications department of the Chicago Bears. I was able to pick their brains for knowledge and frankly anything that could give me an edge in the extremely competitive journalism field. I wanted to make my name resonate in their minds and make them remember me as maybe a future potential employee, not just a star struck Bears fan.

Now, as you're reading this, I'm on my way to Omaha, Nebraska, to start my first professional internship. I've had this position since March, and now the anticipation is over. I'm taking my first baby step into adulthood by making my first solo road trip to another state. I'm going to get a taste of what living off of the Mom and Dad fund (well, not entirely off) is going to feel like. Only two years separate me from the real world. It's time to grow up and become a big girl.