Dear Future Husband, Ignore Meghan Trainor

What I love about hypocrites is that they eventually expose themselves. They preach one thing and say that people need to act a certain way, and then they fulfill those stereotypes they're trying to destroy. Well, Meghan Trainor did JUST THIS with her release of her new music video to her song "Dear Future Husband." Let's just take a look at the lyrics, shall we?

"Take me on a date / I deserve it babe / And don't forget the flowers every anniversary"

News flash: not every woman wants flowers on their anniversary. Who? ME! I don't like flowers. Do I think they're pretty? Yes, but those things would die in approximately two days after receiving them. Save yourself the money, and don't fulfill the stereotype that women want flowers.

"If you treat me right / I'll be the perfect wife / Buying groceries / Buy-buying what you need"

So...being the perfect wife means grocery shopping? That's definitely not what I thought the definition of a perfect wife was. Also, men do grocery shopping, too. My father has gone grocery shopping just as much as my mother. Again, Trainor's pushing for the 1950's housewife stereotype. And this is coming from someone who said to love all bodies....oh, except skinny ones.

"You got to know how to treat me like a lady / even when I'm acting crazy"

Ok, alright. I'll give her this. Women are crazy. So are men, children, gays, lesbians, blacks, whites, latinos, asians. Everyone is crazy. Saying that women are crazy fulfill the stereotype of the "crazy girlfriend," which feminists, as Meghan calls herself, are trying to destroy.

"If you wanna get that special lovin' / tell me I'm beautiful every night"

I would rather be called intelligent, rational, logical, compassionate, loving, caring, or determined instead of beautiful. Women are not as shallow as the stereotype pushes. We are individual human beings that want to acheive our career-oriented or family-oriented goals. We're not just plastic Barbie dolls that are skin deep.

"After every fight / Just apologize / And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right / Even if I

was wrong / You know I'm never wrong"

WOA WOA WOA. Hold on, here. Let's take this apart piece by piece. First off, she's rewarding someone caving their beliefs or opinions with sex. Well, that's just a great idea to implant in children's heads. Good job. Secondly, Trainor is saying that the woman is always right. No, we're not. We are not perfect individuals who are always right in an argument. Men and women make mistakes, and women need to admit they're wrong when they're wrong. Stop with the stereotype, Ms. Trainor.

"Make time for me / Don't leave me lonely / And know we'll never see your family more than mine"

WHAT?!?!? Oh my God; are you kidding me? Meghan, what are you doing? You're basically saying that women are dependent creatures who cannot be independent. That's disgusting. Secondly, you will be a terrible wife. You cannot exclude your husband's family from your children's lives. That's terrible! I love both sides of my family, and I would never want one side neglected because of your stereotypical ideals. That's repugnant.

"Don't have a dirty mind / Just be a classy guy / Buy me a ring / Bu-buy me a ring"

Well aren't you just a demanding little lady? First off, men and women are sexual humans. You can't force your husband to stop thinking about sex. Be a classy guy? If you have to demand that out of your husband, then you don't know how to choose men. Period. Finally, buy me a ring? How about you use your millions to get yourself a ring...? You're so demanding.

This song, coming from the woman who was praised as someone who spread the love of body image in her song "All About That Bass," is something that no man should listen to. Not every woman wants to be the stereotypical housewife who cooks and cleans for her husband. Some of us are independent individuals who are career driven and care about their work future, not their familial future.

Why is it Gendered?

I know you’ve probably seen and/or read articles where female sports fans go on their rants about the ‘struggles’ of being a sports fan. Yes, all of them are true; BUT let me turn the table to the men so you know what it feels like when something you’re knowledgeable on is challenged by the opposite sex/gender.

For my well-dressed men out there: I bet you think you’re very knowledgeable on designers, styles, fashion eras, etc. Let’s say you’re shopping with your girlfriend, and she is getting a little black dress with ruching. You say, “Oh, I really like the ruching on that dress.” Your girlfriend responds, “Why do you know what that is? Where does the term come from? What designer made this popular?” You feel bombarded and belittled; you have no time to respond, because she keeps cutting you off.

Not into fashion? Well then, let’s continue…

For my music men: I bet you think you’re very knowledgeable on the changing chart toppers or the new underground music that’s starting to hit the scene. Let’s say a woman you’re talking to is also a big music fanatic. She starts bombarding you with questions about the biography of the band or artist, how many albums they’ve made, where they’re originally from, etc.

EVEN BETTER: Let’s say you’re a big One Direction/Justin Bieber/Taylor Swift/”girly music” band fan. You tell a woman this and she asks, “Oh, is this just a phase?” You feel insulted, because, apparently, it’s weird for men to like what’s considered girly music.

Still doesn’t apply to you? Well, hold on buddy; let me make this clear to you:

Hobbies and interests are not gendered. It’s completely acceptable for women to love football, baseball, basketball, soccer, any sport, just how it’s completely acceptable for men to like Justin Bieber or know about the fashion industry. Men, you say you want to change the perspective of women or that you’re a feminist, yet you push the old school traditional values held by our grandparents on women.

I’m not trying to bash men; that’s the last thing I’m trying to do. I’m trying to open your eyes to your actions and how it would feel if the way you treat women was done to you. The fact that women in the 21^st century are still being ridiculed or questioned for liking sports is despicable, just how men in the 21^st century are still being ridiculed or questioned for liking things that are considered to be feminine.

Let people be who they are. The only way that these old school traditional values can be erased is through action by BOTH men and women. If men want to wear pink (only REAL men wear pink) or want to be into very poppy music, because they like to do so, let them. If women want to follow sports and know the statistics of their team because they like to do so, let them. The first step to getting rid of these gender roles is through action, so let’s get started.

Don't Stand Up...Unless It's For Your Rights

I've noticed that this blog has become an outlet for me, to release stress and be a healthy way to let myself go in a matter of typing. This month's post is going to be just a tad different than in the past. In case you readers didn't know this, I wrote a piece for Thought Catalog in the summer of 2014. It discussed an issue about being asked, "Why are you still single?"

It's a nice rant for the single ladies as Valentine's Day is coming up, or as I like to refer to it as Single Awareness Day (PDAs are just too real that day, and it needs to go away). Anyway, I just went through something that no woman should ever experience. Unfortunately, I have experienced this now for the fourth time in my life, and it has me questioning things about myself and my personality.

Back in December, I was talking to this one guy, who will stay nameless. We were talking for a few weeks. Here's the twist: we met online, and yes, it was Tinder. Go ahead and judge, but that app is a great way to get an ego boost and meet people. Anyway, we started talking, and he seemed like an alright guy. I wanted to meet the kid just to feel things out. So I asked him if he was free on a Thursday night to grab a bite and just meet up in person. He told me he was available and would meet me at this sub shop back home in Chicago. We agreed to meet up at 8.

I'm at my house getting ready and having my awesome little sister pick out jewelry for me to wear. I realized I was running a little late, so I shot him a text saying I was running behind. He responded, "That's fine. I'll meet you there." I get there around 8:15, and see that he wasn't there. I texted him; no response. I waited about a half hour; again, no response. Another hour goes by; no response. By this time, I am livid and angry that, for the fourth time in my life, I have been stood up.

I drove home after some much needed retail therapy (I also justified it as a way to use the gift cards I got for Christmas). I burst in the door with bags in hand; my mom looks at me and just felt awful for me that she's seen this happen to me four times now.

Men, WHY? Why do you stand up chicks? Do you know how much effort goes into getting ready? That involves putting on a full face of makeup, doing our hair, finding an outfit that isn't a pair of sweats and a hoodie...you just made me waste about two hours of my time.

I wasn't expecting this guy to become a relationship, and that maltreatment of my time and my emotions guaranteed that. What was even worse is that he texted me the next day, completely ignoring what happened. I ignored him for days and weeks until he got the hint. I then found him subtweeting about me and how girls play mind games. Excuse me, but you toyed with my emotions and wasted my time to satisfy whatever you needed to satisfy. And women are the ones who play mind games.

Men, women are not difficult to figure out. We are quite simple. Just don't get us angry, and you will be on easy street. If you've met a girl who is way more complex than that, then I feel so bad for you. For example, as long as you respect my schedule and that I don't feel the need to speak to you every single second of the day, you will do just fine.

If you can't make the date or you feel like you're too nervous (which you know you feel), then just let us know. Just text us. We will be upset that you did make us waste a couple hours, but I know that we would still continuing talking to you because you were honest with us. That's all it takes. Learn your lesson men. You're welcome.

What the Holidays are Really About

December is always a month where everyone just seems to be in a cheerier mood. Why? It's almost Christmas time. Christmas brings out a sense of generosity in everyone to all people. It's a great thing to witness and take part in as well. However, people seem to realize what these holidays really do, and what saddens me is that not everyone can experience this.

The holidays are meant to bring family and friends together and reminisce about the past year. However, so many people have never felt this feeling of what a family truly is, and that hurts my heart. I was blessed to grow up in a loving family with parents who have been together for over 20 years and two amazing little siblings. My parents had in-laws that loved everyone in the family. I have cousins, aunts, and uncles that are all able to get along with loving grandparents.

Just a few weeks before the end of my fall semester of junior year, I was speaking with a friend of mine. They told me that they have never really celebrated the holidays with their family; everyone just goes on with their day as if there's nothing special. They also told me that they have never felt like they are a part of family. There's no unity, trust, or familial aspect to their life.

I have never felt so sad hearing this, and it really made me reflect on my life. I was blessed with a family that, obviously, has its ups and downs but will always be there for anyone in need in the family. I never knew that some people were never blessed with this familial aspect of their life.

I've also read stories on some homeless and less financially fortunate who have no one else in their life to turn to for help. They are truly alone and have nowhere to turn. They stay in raggedy homeless shelters where they can get the necessities, but they have no one to spend a holiday. This is just depressing and sad.

Merry Christmas from Me!

Why am I mentioning all this negativity with just a week before Christmas? To remind you of something. No matter how much wealth or material posessions you have, you will only find true joy in spending some time with someone close to you. That can range from your family to your best friend to a significant other. For those who feel alone, you know that deep down, there is at least one person you can reach out to in your time of need. Connect with someone who you have lost touch with and have a mini-reunion. Enjoy your holidays with just one person that will appreciate that someone cares about them.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays.

Catcalling...Really?

Recently, a woman in New York City created a video with a company to show that catcalling happens, even in the 21st century. The video shocked many men, including my male friends. They texted me nonstop once the video came out, saying, "You gotta see this video. It's so eye-opening." I replied nonchalantly, "This is not shocking. This happens every day to women, no matter where it is."

They were stunned that people catcall this much, even though I've witnessed these same men catcall other women around me. When I was younger, I thought nothing of it. As I've gotten older, I've become so irritated and annoyed by catcalling that I sometimes overreact to men catcalling me. Sometimes, the catcalling becomes very physical.

For example, my friends and I were walking to my friend's place. To get there, we have to walk down Court Street, the main road of Athens, Ohio. We were looking decent; I was wearing jeans, a nice shirt, and a fleece. Out of nowhere, a guy comes up behind me, slaps my butt, and walks away. I was astonished that someone had the audacity to do something like this.

Naturally, because of my nature, I ran after him to approach him. I tapped him on the shoulder, and this was the conversation that ensued:
     "Excuse me, sir."
     "Yes?"
     "Why did you find it appropriate to slap my a**?"
     "Because I liked what I saw. You should be flattered."
     "Actually, I'm not flattered. Who do you think you are that you can go up to a random girl walking down the street and slap her butt? You're no one special, and no one should do that."
     "Jesus, girl. Calm down. Stop being such a b****."
     "Me calling you out on objectifying women makes me a b****? Really? You know what, I hope you realize that I just caused a scene about you doing something completely disrespectful to a woman you don't know in front of a boatload of men and women. You royally screwed yourself over. Have fun trying to talk to any girl tonight."

As I walked away, every girl that witnessed this gave me the biggest smile. Some complimented me on standing up for myself.

What was flabbergasting is that he believed that I should be complimented by him slapping me. Really? You disrespecting women is a compliment? Are you serious? Another thing that was shocking was that he called me a derrogatory name, because I stood up for myself.

This is something that isn't new. Strong women and women who stand up for themselves are always called horrible names. News flash men: we don't need you to be successful. I don't need a boyfriend, fiance, or husband to be happy or successful in my life. I can be happy through work and through friends and family. You are not our sole focus or priority in life.

Why is catcalling still happening? Men, grow up. Calling a random woman out on the street in a sexual manner is disgusting, pathetic, and disrespectful. A true man would approach a woman and try to initiate a conversation. You will not get anything out of catcalling a woman as you drive by her on the street or walk past her on the street. Grow up and stop this now.

What's the Deal with Award Season?

The MTV Video Music Awards, or VMAs, were this past week. Almost everyone's eyes was on their television, waiting to see who would win what award or if there would be a repeat of Miley Cyrus. Well, there was nothing as jaw-dropping as Miley Cyrus' performance last year, but Beyonce pulled on the heart strings with her whole album performance and being awarded by her husband and child.

I was one of the few people who was not watching the VMAs (in case you want to know, I was watching Bears highlights on YouTube). I read about the happenings on Twitter and watched the trends the following morning.

Thinking about the VMAs in retrospect, I kept wondering why these award seasons are ridiculously popular. I understand four awards: Grammys, Emmys, Oscars, and Tonys. Every other award, e.g. the TCA, PCA, VMAs, etc, seems absolutely pointless. Why does a singer/band need an award, because they put together a great video? There are THOUSANDS of people who can create videos at the same caliber or even better, and they are not being recognized.

The TCA & PCAs? Really? Let's give you an award because people like you? Then give everyone in the world a TCA or PCA, because at least one person likes another person. It's absolutely pointless.

Again, while I was considering the purpose of these awards, I remembered a fellow classmate from my high school. He stated, "The award season is basically watching rich and wealthy people receive awards from other rich and wealthy people for singing or portraying someone that they're not." That could not be more true. Think about it for a second.

The Oscars, Emmys, and Tonys are awards given out for acting in Hollywood and on Broadway. What is acting in reality? Acting is a way to play a person that you aren't, a fantasy, an escape from reality. There are people being REWARDED for playing something they're not. Isn't the point of life to be rewarded for being who you are? It's hypocritical.

The Grammys are awards given out to singers. Well, there are MILLIONS of people that are talented singers across the world, yet they didn't receive a grammy. Why? Because they don't have a contract with the music industry. That's really the only reason they didn't receive one. That's absolutely ridiculous.

People then say, "Well, the fashion is what I care about." You could actually wait until the next day, pick up a tabloid, and see what these celebrities wore to the event. You could also subscribe to fashion magazine and see what they will probably wear months before they decide.

"Well, I like the performances." That's what YouTube is for; you can see past live performances that these singers/bands have done. You can also go and see them in concert yourself.

After reading all this, do you really see a reason to waste three or four hours of your time to watch rich people receive an award?

Gone But Not Forgotten: John Malone

Sportsmanship, competition, and basketball: three things that John Malone treasures and showed on and off the court. Just one year ago, Fenwick High School lost a member of the class of 2011, John Malone Jr., in a car accident. Malone was a star basketball player for the Friars, and the game he played is now a memorial to him.

Fellow classmates Leo Latz, Tim Gancer, Joe Dwyer, and Dylan Barnett created the John Malone Memorial Basketball Tournament at Fenwick. It is now in its second year and is still going strong. However, the tournament is not the only way Malone is being remembered at Fenwick High School.

"There is the John Malone 52 scholarship that is academic based. It goes to two incoming freshmen and one current senior; they are each worth $3,000," said Latz.

The fund is sponsored through donations and selling custom made t-shirts at the tournament that has Malone's name and number he wore at Fenwick on the back. In their first year alone, the fund was able to raise almost $4,000.

"The tournament says a lot about the Fenwick communtiy," said Gancer. "Event though you may not have been great friends with him, people still came out to support the family and each other."

The Malone family as well as fellow classmates are hoping for this tournament and scholarship to continue on in the many years to come.

Malone touched everyone's hearts in some way. Whether it was through his warm smile, his humor, or just any memory that someone had with them, Malone defined what a Fenwick Friar is. He treated everyone with respect, kindness, and compassion. John Malone may have physically left this world, but his spirit and presence is eternal and with each and every one he ever had contact with.

Special thanks to Scott Theis, Athletic Director at Fenwick High School, and the Malone family.