The end of the year is nearing which means time for a reflective piece on this past year. Just kidding. You can go and read everyone's Facebook statuses on New Year's Eve for that.
This is the time of year where you need to stop thinking about politics, crime and all the negatives that happened this past year. This is the time where you look to your siblings, parents, grandparents, friends, partners, spouses and think about the impact they made on you this past year.
Think about the great times you spent together. Think about the inside jokes that were created. Think about the time they spent with you and just listened so you could vent. Think about the time when you did the same for them. Think about the time when you celebrated that promotion, engagement, graduation or new job.
Think about the times they were there for you at your lowest point. Think about the times you were there for them. Think about all the drama that you fought through and how you came out stronger. Think about that one phone call. Think about that one text message.
Time is precious and what makes it precious is the people that surround you. Make sure you tell them you love them and that you care about them. Instead of binge-watching Netflix, call them and catch up. Instead of whining about the cold, see if they want to build a snowman. Instead of scrolling through Snapchat, Twitter or Instagram, go and take those pictures with them. Instead of thinking you're alone, know that there is at least one person who cares about you. You never realize how important they are until you don't see them everyday.
That's what this holiday season is about: love, family and friends. Spread it.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year.
The first amendment of the Constitution of this great country gives five freedoms to all citizens in this nation, one of them being freedom of the press. As of late, the media industry has been hasseled due to coverage of the presidential campaigns and other top issues, saying that there is bias when it comes to controversial issues.
Journalists have been threatened, harrassed and ridiculed for telling a story. Journalists have been construed to be menaces to society and people who want to uproot the values of this great nation. They say that "old" journalism back in the 1970s and earlier were the glory days of journalism, because things were exposed for the better of this country.
However, when controversial issues come to light, journalists are then the devil. Journalists become a great evil in some people's eyes. Journalism is then crushed as a field of work that just abides by an "agenda."
Did you ever think what a world without the media would be?
People wouldn't know how bad the murder rate is. People wouldn't know about the rising heroin epidemic. People wouldn't know about the scandals in the Catholic Church. People wouldn't know about Joe Paterno. People wouldn't know about Watergate. People wouldn't know about bombings overseas in Syria. People would be so ill-informed about the world around them.
Without journalism, the truth would not be known. History would be different. The government would be different. Sports would be different. Society as a whole would be different.
But because one outlet releases a story about something that you don't agree with no matter the facts behind it, you will hate the media. You hate the media because we open your eyes. You hate the media because we tell stories you may not enjoy but need to know. You hate the media because we expose people. You hate the media because we want you to stop living in a blissful world of ignorance.
You hate the media because you want to believe what you want to believe.
So before you go and say that the media is unimportant, just think about what the world would be like if there weren't people who wanted to dedicate their lives to finding out why something is the way it is. People who want to tell the story of a boy who shows that you can do anything you dream of doing. People who want to tell the story of how this one action can save thousands of lives.
America, hey there. You all have got to know me at a pretty personal level. You know my opinions on a variety of topics, ranging from Hollywood to the judicial system. You also know intricate details about my friends and family. You know that I spend my free time, trying to improve at my job and further my career in every way possible.
However, there are MILLIONS of people in this world that would rather spend their free time on four of the most pointless things that (1) do not contribute anything positive to this country, (2) receive more attention that children being shot in the back while sitting on their porch on a Sunday afternoon and (3) are the most meaningless things in this country.
These four things are what I'm speaking about:
1) Beauty Pageants (on all levels)
2) The Royal Family
3) The Bachelor/Bachelorette
4) The Kardashians
Let's address each one in its own context, shall we?
Beauty pageants (specifically the ones for older, mature women). If this isn't the biggest barrier in the way of women wanting to be seen as more than a face, then I don't know what is. These women are being judged SOLELY on how they look. BUT WAIT. It's judgment based on how they look in different outfits. "But Karli, they have a question round. That shows personality." Yes, because a stunningly gorgeous woman that's trying to win a competition to be the prettiest girl in the country is going to have the answer to solve the crisis in the American education system. You all know that all those answers are SO rehearsed to include things that tug at the heart strings of these MALE judges so they don't seem too superficial. What a joke.
The Royal Family. America, WHY ARE WE SO OBSESSED WITH THIS USELESS FAMILY? Isn't the reason we started this country was for freedom of expression and to have a choice in government which Great Britain DIDN'T have? The Royal Family is the most useless body of people in world politics. What do they do? They do nothing that can be impactful on world relations or in their own country. The Prime Minister and Parliament do more than that queen has ever done. I will never forget in high school when classmates of mine woke up earlier than they would ever wake up for class to watch the Royal wedding. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. Why do you look up to and idolize these people when they do nothing at all that matters in this world?
The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Let me break down these shows. These people are so desperate for attention and love that they want their ENTIRE dating process broadcast to the whole nation. Men and women quit their jobs to have their dating life broadcast to the whole country. If this past season of the Bachelorette doesn't prove how much of a low life can win, then what will? A washed up quarterback who's the brother of a SUCCESSFUL NFL quarterback won this show. If you wanted to marry a washed up athlete, go to any small town, and you'll find them. They're a dime a dozen. They're not hard to find, seeing that they will tell you every stat/record/game they've ever had the moment you meet them ***gag.***
The Kardashians. I already wrote an entire blog on this family's ridiculousness so I'll spare you that schpiel.
You want to know what isn't getting any attention from media outlets because the American public would rather here about what Kylie wore to Fashion Week, what new milestones JoJo's relationship has hit, and what Prince Harry did on a private jet? A rising Chicago high school athlete was shot six times while he was sitting on his porch. An entire mining industry is crumbling, leaving hundreds of thousands of people out of work and destroying small towns. Another woman was raped, and there wasn't a just verdict. Another black person was racially profiled while they're on their way home, minding their own business. Another person lost their job. Another child was bullied to the point where they took their own life. Another person overdosed on heroine, which is a rising drug epidemic.
But you, the American public who I cater to because I'm in the news industry, don't want to hear those stories. You don't want to hear the story of an athlete who has gone through hell and back and finally caught his first touchdown as a senior. You don't want to hear about how the world is affecting you and what the future could be. You don't want to hear about how an entire portion of the American population is about to disappear.
You'd rather know what new white woman is Miss America.You want to know what designer Kim is wearing. You want to know what Prince George did on his second birthday.
Today, a man by the name of Brock Turner is being released from jail after serving three months for sexually assaulting an unconscious girl behind a dumpster on Stanford's campus.
Today, that girl he assaulted is sitting in her home, knowing that he's back out in the world. Today, that girl is reliving that trauma in her mind, because his name is in the headlines.
Today, the judicial system of America shows its true colors. Today the judicial system believes his trauma of his three months of jail time is sufficient to the trauma that girl went through.
Today, the country is realizing that the victims of sexual assault and rape live through more trauma after the initial incident than during the actual incident. Today, people are realizing that these victims need support from the general public so this man doesn't walk free.
However, today in a classroom, little boys are not being taught about consent. Today, little boys are not being taught that no means no and to respect a woman, because she is a human being.
However, today in a school, little girls are being sent home for violating dress code, because it's distracting the boys. Today, little girls are being taught that they are only seen as a sexual object by doing that.
Today, there's another woman getting assaulted or raped, screaming no, but that man won't stop. Today, that woman's whole life and pysche will change drastically in ways that won't hit her until later.
Today, another man that's up for trial for sexual assault or rape is getting a sentence that is nowhere near the severity it needs to be. Today, that man will not learn his lesson, because jail doesn't teach consent.
Today, I write this as a plea for help as a sexual assault victim. I write this to shed light on how society is not changing this culture; it's perpetuating it. I write this to let you know that you can help change this culture.
Today, I'm done staying silent and feeling guilty. Today, I stand up, not just as a woman, but as a human, and scream for your help, like that woman who was raped did.
But don't ignore this scream as you did ignore that woman screaming no as a man violates her in a dark alleyway. Don't ignore this scream as the judicial system ignores the screams of every sexual assault victim and rape victim in this country.
Just listen and learn from this article. Instead of creating a strict dress code for women, teach men what consent is. Instead of ignoring a scream for help, run and see what you can do to help. Instead of being an observant bystander, be an active one. Instead of staying silent, stand up and shout for justice with the rest of us.
Today, women scream to be treated as a human being. Today women scream,
"enough is enough". Today, women scream, "No" to this abomination of the definition of the word "justice." Today, women scream, "No" to this man walking free.
What is the definition of the word "woman?' According to Merriam-Webster, it is the following: an adult female person. What is the definition of the word "female?" According to Merriam-Webster, it is the following: of, relating to, or being the sex that bears young or produces eggs.
I am not here to give you a vocabulary lesson. I am here to point something out to all of you. The ONLY difference between a man and a woman or male and female is biology. That's it. Women have different reproductive organs than men. That's how simple it is. Are there are different attitudes for each gender? Absolutely, but from a human aspect, biology is all that differs.
Yet, women are the target for ridicule, harrassment, public humiliation, and degradation, all being sexual.
Men can be targeted and are targeted, but it is women who bear the brunt of it. A woman can't wear make-up, because it's "deceiving;" a woman must wear make-up, because we must "impress men." A woman can't be curvacious, because it's not "trendy;" A woman can't be skinny, because curves are "sexy." A woman can't be a mother, because we're fighting for "female empowerment;" a woman must be a mother, because that's what "our future is." A woman can't have opinions, because that's "bitchy;" a woman must have opinions, because you can't be considered "basic."
Do you catch my drift?
Women are constantly playing this tug of war game with society to be the "perfect woman." If a woman posts anything that shows her pride in her work, she's fishing for compliments, but if a woman posts a picture of nature or a Starbucks coffee, she's considered basic. If a woman speaks out about sexual harrasment, rape, sexual assault, or invasion of privacy that she's experienced, she's ridiculed.
She is a very successful sports broadcaster, who has worked her tail off to earn her success. She went through trauma when someone secretly recorded her naked and posted it online for the entire world to see. However, it wasn't the deplorable human being that was attacked when her settlement was reached; it was Erin. People attacked her, saying that she should be "thanking the person who recorded her, because without it, she wouldn't be famous". "She should expect this when she's always in the spotlight."
WHY SHOULD A WOMAN EXPECT SEXUAL HARRASSMENT FOR BEING SUCCESSFUL?
Because I have worked my butt off, made enormous sacrifices, spent money I don't have on a degree, and did everything asked of me to eventually become successful, I must expect sexual harrassment. Did you ever think for a second what harrassment would do to me, personally?
Instead of what the person thinks is happening (I'm, apparently, supposed to take harrassment as a compliment), I am thinking so low of myself. I believe that I am just a piece of trash that is kicked around in the dirt. I am worthless, useless, an object, just not human. Then, in Erin's situation, she had to relive that trauma in front of hundreds of cameras, bringing back all of those wretched thoughts and feelings, and then being ridiculed for going public with it.
Imagine if that happened to you, men.
Imagine if a woman said the most objectifying things you can think of, but in their mind, they're complimenting you. However, your mind is racing with thoughts about why this woman only sees you as her boy toy, as just an object, just something that has no worth, no use, and no point in this very human and real world.
But imagine you can't speak publically about it, because then you're just seeking attention...
That's what Erin went through. That's what all women go through.
22 years. I think I've reached the age where I can't act like a stupid kid anymore (although Pokemon Go may change that). 22 years of seeing my family grow and age with me. 22 years of seeing friends come and go. 22 years of making new friendships and watching friendships disintegrate. 22 years of the single life; the best life.
That's right ladies and gentlemen. 22 years of being single, and it's the best life. I know I may sound like a girl who internally is dying for a relationship, but believe me, I'm not. The question I get all the time is "How have you been single your whole life?" Can you all stop asking me this question please? I've been single, because I want to be.
Do I have flings? Absolutely, but they never last more than three weeks and then wither away. The reason I want to be single is so different than what most assume. People assume that I'm too "independent" (whatever that means) for a relationship. I take that as the compliment. Here's why:
Being "too independent" means I put my needs, friends, family, career and
everything else first. I care so much about my friends and family; seeing them succeed is the best high in the world. Knowing that a friend of mine just got hired was an amazing feeling. Knowing that my brother got his permit (Lord save us) is fantastic. Seeing my career progress day by day is so fulfilling.
I put more energy towards success than I ever would towards a boyfriend. Seeing your dreams become reality is so much better than a relationship, in my opinion. Knowing that you gave your all towards your career and for it to pay off is the best high. I'm in a committed relationship with making my career goals become a reality.
If you really think about it, a relationship is just glorified eating, sleeping, talking and intercourse. Why is that something that people want to aspire to? Why is it that when I tell people I have zero intention of ever getting married or having kids that I'm seen as a "disappointment" or "aggressive?" Why is being a wife the best acheviement for a woman?
"Being married means you get to share your life with someone." I do that already with my family and my friends who have been there before a man will walk into the picture. "You'll change your mind when you meet the right person." Or I'll just continue to live my regular life and enjoy my friends and my family. "You'll die alone." Ok, cool. Is that supposed to scare me?
Why is being alone such a scary thing for people to accept? Being alone allows you to discover your inner self. Just recently, I put my phone down in a different room, grabbed my old writing pad, put on some Rolling Stones and just started writing. That free write was the most eye-opening thing I've done in months. Everyone should do that to see what your mind is capable of creating. It's astonishing.
Being alone also has great perks. I get a whole queen bed to myself (which is amazing). I save a BOATLOAD of money. I get to spend more time with my friends and family. I have the opportunity to meet new people on a regular basis. I can do basically anything I want when I want. That is immensely freeing.
As I continue on in my life, this mindset can change. I'm not rigid in this mindset, but it's what I've known for 22 years. I've loved every minute of it. So I'm going to keep living my life, the single life and the best life for as long as God lets me.
As almost every millenial does, BuzzFeed videos have become how I waste my time when I'm bored. I love the content they create; it ranges from tasting different types of food/alcohol to talking about serious issues like body image. I've seen so many different types of videos, and the body image ones always capture my attention.
One of my favorites they created was when people lived without a mirror/reflective surfaces for a week. As I watched this, it showed me more about the ridiculous amount of reflective surfaces we have in this world. It's quite terrifying. At the end of the video, the women participants discussed how they feel when they look in the mirror. Almost all of them had extremely negative things to say about themselves.
Am I the only one who can look in a mirror and love everything I see?
And why is it that when I say that, the first thought that runs through your head is this: "God, she is so full of herself. She's so narcissitic."
Let me explain why I think this. I was blessed to grow up with a loving family and with a great group of guy friends. When I was a little girl, I was bullied all the time. I was skinny-shamed back in the early 2000s (that's right; it happened then, too) and made fun of my bad teeth. I did have crooked teeth, and I was very skinny; I still am.
That affected me to a point, but the guys I grew up with never once commented on my appearance unless it was in a positive way or there was something in my teeth. Then I realized something. The only people who ever commented on my appearance negatively were women. That's it. Those people were the only people who criticized how I looked in a negative light.
Women, why do we do this? Why are we bringing each other down? Everyone is different. Everyone has a different silhoutte, hair, weight, skin color, skin complexion, smile, everything. Differences are what make everyone beautiful. If everyone looked the same, then life would be so dull and boring.
I am so blessed I grew up with guys who loved me because of my personality and who I am as a person. That's why I love how I look in a mirror. I love every part of my body, from my long legs to my non-existent butt (it's straight flatsville back there). All of these differences are a part of who I am. There's a way that we can have every woman love what they see in the mirror.
Women: STOP SHAMING WOMEN. Let's be honest; a compliment from a man (as a heterosexual woman) does nothing for me. It can be construed as so many things that I honestly can't tell if it's genuine. However, ladies, do you not agree that the only time you compliment another woman is when it's a genuine compliment? Women rarely give fake compliments to other women, because we know that most women tear down physical appearance instead of build it up.
If we change this, then the mirror can stop being something women fear. The mirror can be a place where we can boost our self-esteem and love our bodies for what they are. Let's stop tearing down people because we're jealous. Instead, let's love what we see in the mirror and love being you.
I swear I can't go an hour without getting some garbage about the Kardashian family. Media outlets are turning talentless (mostly) people into CELEBRITIES (I say mostly, because Kendall has talent). Let's go through this family step by step.
Kris: No one knew who she was outside of the wife of Bruce Jenner, an Olympian athlete, and Rob Kardashian, an attorney involved with the O.J. Simpson trial. That's all she was. She became Bruce's manager and did small producing work on small television shows. She then pitched to have her family's lives broadcasted on television in 2007. Coincidentally the same year Kim's sex tape was released....
Kim: She was just known as Paris Hilton's assistant until the sex tape was released. She made millions off that sex tape. Mind you, recent news came out that her mother used the sex tape to help get the Kardashian family famous (***vomits***) and make millions. That parachuted her into the tabloid world. Everyone then knew her as Reggie Bush's girlfriend. After that, it was the 72 day marriage to Kris Humphries. Then it was Kanye. Then her butt broke the Internet.
Khloe: She was married to Lamar Odom, an NBA player. She's back on the spotlight after Odom was found passed out in a brothel and in a coma for weeks.
Kourtney: She was married to Scott Disick.
Rob: He stay hidden for years. He recently made headlines with an engagement to Blac Chyna (what kind of name is that).
Kendall: She actually does something. She is a runway model who has participated in multiple fashion weeks and the Victoria Secret Fashion Show.
Kylie: She made news because of lips and dating someone well above the age of 18 before she was 18. Also, she doesn't look anything like what she did earlier in the show from the THOUSANDS of pictures that pop up on my timeline (thanks BuzzFeed and Elite Daily).
Bruce (now Caitlyn): He also did something. He was a Olympic champion in the decathlon in 1974. He did multiple endorsements for athletic and fitness gear and equipment. He became a she in 2015 when Bruce came out as transgender and changed his name to Caitlyn. That's what brought millions of people's attention to the Kardashian family.
That's the family that MILLIONS of people are holding on a pedestal. People that capitalize on sex tapes and coming out as transgender. There are pornstars and people who come out as transgender every day, but they're not the center of attention because of their name.
WHAT IS THE APPEAL OF THIS FAMILY?!?! I just don't get it. This family is making millions for not having talent, excluding Kendall. Now that Bruce is Caitlyn, everyone has forgotten about his triumphs and accolades as an Olympic athlete. Now the kids of these people are making headlines and trending all over Twitter. People freaked out when Kim and Kanye named their kids North and Saint. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
This family of talentless people is making headlines, but the campaign for Sexual Awareness and Prevention Month is barely trending or making any headline. If that doesn't say anything about the priorities of society, then I don't know what does.
Think long and hard before you quote something a Kardashian has said or want to know what they're doing. Spend that time doing something that matters in the world instead of feeding into the drivel that this family spews every second of the day.
Remember back to the porch step days, where all we cared about was sharpening sticks? Remember when we used to ride bikes around the block for fun when we actually had a unspoken race? Remember on the rainy days when we would just go for a run to come back, completely out of breath?
I do.
I remember the days when I would sprint up your front steps, through your kitchen, up to your room, just to play Backyard Baseball. I remember when you taught me how to roller blade. I remember when you taught me how to perfect my jump shot. I remember every memory we had, including the bad.
I remember the day you left.
The day you pushed me out of your life. The day where I felt like I lost a part of me. The day you told me the truth. I was heartbroken. I felt like the only person who's been there with me since day one decided that our friendship that blossomed over 15 years didn't mean anything. Instead of fighting, I let you go.
But I still cared.
I would check in with your family to see how you were doing. I was so proud when you graduated from high school and eventually college. I was so happy for you when you got in a good relationship. I was always there for you, even when you didn't want me there.
Until you came to me.
Until that night you finally texted me after four years of the silent treatment. I still question why you came to me. In the back of your mind, you knew that I would always be there for you, through the good and bad, the thick and thin, the beautiful and the ugly, every moment. After that night, we never spoke again. I haven't seen you since. You completely shut me out of your life; you shut all of us out.
I still love you.
Just waiting for you
I know that our futures will collide again. I know that one day, you'll come to realize that what started the fight was so small, so miniscule, so meaningless. After everything you did to me, everything you put me through, every mind game you played, every emotion you brought out of me, I still forgave you. That's how much you mean to me.
I will never forget the memories we've had; you won't either. The innocent days, the carefree years, the days that I will cherish, because that's when you were really you. As you grew up, you changed into something you're not. I hope that's changed.
To the friend who left my life, just know I still think about you. I hope you found the love of your life. I hope you're successful in your career. I hope you figured everything out.
I hope you see this one day.
All I want is the best for you...
To the friend who left my life... I'm only one call away.
I am a tall girl, standing at 6'0", and I'm damn proud of it. However, there are some girls who call themselves "tall" when they're 5'9". I need to finally clarify this for all: unless you're 6'0" or taller, you are not a tall girl. How did I come to this conclusion?
Ladies, you know that a solid chunk of the female population wants a tall man as a boyfriend, spouse, husband, partner, whatever. What are the heights that are used to describe a tall guy? 6'0" and taller. It is RARE (unless you are under 5'6") that women consider a man under 6'0" tall. It just doesn't happen. Why can't that standard be applied to women?
How in the world is 5'9" tall? It's not; you can still wear heels and not tower over 95% of the people in a room. You don't have to shop at specific stores for jeans or pants, because no company in the world makes jeans long enough for women taller than 5'9" (looking at you Forever 21 & H&M). Shouts to Express & New York & Company for stepping up and making jeans that actually hit the floor when I wear them.
I understand why women want to be considered a tall girl. Being tall has fantastic advantages. I can reach the top shelf, I'm the first person people see in a crowd, models want to be this tall, and I don't need to wear heels (unless I wanted to stand at 6'5" and feel extremely powerful and dominant, which happens more than I would like to admit).
Here's the thing; unless you were blessed with this tall frame of 6'0" and taller, don't consider or call yourself a tall girl. It's quite laughable honestly. Although 5'9" is taller than the national average of 5'5", it doesn't make you tall. So, for all my fellow glamazons out there, let's finally put this discussion to rest and finalize this definition. 6'0" and taller? You're in.
